I gave up booze five years ago: these are the 10 questions I always get asked

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Five years ago, I did Dry July. A well-intentioned month off grog. And here I am, still going. Still not drinking.

It wasn’t the plan to put down my wine glass for good, but life had other ideas. My mother passed away, I hit a few health bumps, and somewhere in the quiet of it all I realised that booze was taking more than it was giving. So I stopped.

Since then, I’ve written about life on the other side of the bottle, and if there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s that when you respond to a friendly “wine?” with a polite “no thanks, I don’t drink”, people have questions. Lots of them. So here are the ones I get asked the most, and how I answer them.

When you tell people that you don’t drink, they have questions.

Why? (Usually asked with either a look of horror or concern – or both)

I get it. People are curious, and maybe they want to know if I had a problem. The truth is, you don’t have to hit rock bottom to decide alcohol isn’t working for you. I just got tired of feeling tired most of the time. Three months into sobriety, I felt sharper, calmer and clearer. It was like my life shifted from black-and-white to high-definition colour.

Was it difficult to give up?

At the start, definitely. Looking back, I’d say that the first five days were harder than the last five years. There’s no denying it’s awkward the first time you’re at a dinner party without a glass of wine in hand, or you’re hitting the dance floor stone-cold sober at a 50th. But soon it feels normal. Then, it feels great. And eventually, it feels amazing.

How do you relax?

I used to think a glass of wine was the “off switch” to stress, but it was just postponing those strung-out feelings. It never fixed them. Now I relax differently. It’s not all yoga, meditation and breath work. I walk the dog, I light a candle. I lie on the couch and eat overpriced ice-cream. I go to bed early. Weirdly, it works.

Do you still have fun?

Here’s the secret: giving up booze doesn’t mean giving up joy. It just means that I remember it better now. I still go out. I still dance. I still laugh until my stomach hurts. I just don’t wake up with a sore head or a depleted bank account.

Aren’t you bored?

Honestly, no. Life got less boring when I stopped drinking. I got so much time back. I started doing things I never had energy for: winter swimming, hiking, working on a novel (unpublished, possibly unreadable, but writing is a lovely way to spend the early Sunday mornings I reclaimed).

Come on, not even one?

Nope. Not even one. Not on weekends. Not on holidays. Not on special occasions. Not on a good day. Not on a bad day. Not a drop. Moderating requires thought. Abstaining is easier.

So … what do you drink then?

Whatever I feel like, as long as it’s booze-free. There are heaps of great non-alcoholic options these days. I’ve recently travelled throughout Spain and never struggled to find sin alcohol beer on the menu.

You can still enjoy a beer, just sin alcohol.

Do you actually feel better?

A million times yes. I sleep a solid eight hours each night, I exercise regularly, my bank balance is healthier and my relationships are stronger. I didn’t realise how average I felt until I didn’t any more.

Do you mind if I drink?

Not at all. Drink! Don’t drink! You do you. I’m not anti-alcohol. I’m just choosing not to drink.

Do you miss it?

I miss the romance of drinking more than the reality. I don’t miss the 2.43am existential dread, the bloated face or the brain fog. What I’ve given up doesn’t compare to what I’ve gained.

Five years ago, if you’d told me that I’d quit drinking, I would’ve laughed and poured another pinot. But here I am: booze-free and happier for it. So if your question is: “Should I give it a go?” I’d ask you: “Why not?”

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