Coldplay ‘kiss cam’ lifts the lid on an astronomically common issue

6 hours ago 5

Two seconds was all it took. That’s the length of time the camera operators at Coldplay’s Massachusetts concert unwittingly captured the embracing couple.

Then came the confused, raised eyebrow from him and the covered face from her as they both tried vainly to duck and burrow out of sight. But it was too late, those few seconds of footage of Astronomer chief executive Andy Byron and chief people officer Kristin Cabot had already ricocheted around the world.

Now let’s be clear-headed for a moment. It is days later, and we still don’t have the full details, despite many of the blank spaces being eagerly filled by the internet’s conjecture and ire. We have no idea what was going on in either of their marriages, and must remember this story involves real people, families and emotions.

Astronomer chief executive Andy Byron and chief people officer Kristin Cabot scramble to hide their faces at a Coldplay concert.

But what we do know is that it spotlights an important topic in the workplace that’s filled with grey zones and question marks: what should we do when people who work together start a new relationship?

It’s a shockingly common occurrence, with employment marketplace Seek finding around one-third of Australians have either been in, or are in, a romantic relationship at work. There are various other data points from the US and UK that put this at closer to two-thirds at times.

It makes sense too. We spend a lot of time at work (some would argue too much), and there’s a close bond you forge with people in similar, and often stressful, situations.

There will always be new pairings at work, but it’s what you do about it that matters.

The irony in the Astronomer example is that there’s a simple workplace tool which may have avoided this whole situation: a relationship register.

This is an official internal list that outlines which staff members have close relationships with others as a way of highlighting potential conflicts of interest and managing some of the risks involved.

Every business, regardless of size, should set one up easily. It can be as basic as an online form that’s available for people to fill out that goes directly to a senior staff member, such as the head of HR, who can then decide what to do with this information.

However – and here’s the big qualifier – there are always complications. Starting with, at what stage of a new relationship should you register it?

How about the added complications when one or both people are already in relationships? Or what the heck do you do when the person you are meant to register it with is the one embracing the CEO at a Coldplay concert?

These fuzzy edges are part of the reason this recent example has grabbed our collective attention, but there are still a few underlying principles you can follow. These will help if you’re the one starting a new relationship, or even if you’re an innocent bystander who’s just become aware of something brewing in the office.

Relationships in the office can be messy and complex, but if you’re transparent, discreet and human they can still somehow work.

The first is transparency, where anything that affects other people in your business should be brought up and discussed. There’s nothing wrong with meeting people in the office, but there is a problem in keeping it a secret from those who should be informed, especially if it touches on the murky territory of remuneration and promotions.

Of course, if both people also have existing marriages and families, then this transparency principle needs to begin right there.

The second is discretion. If you become aware of a burgeoning new pairing in your workplace, you can always have a quiet word with the people involved if they think no one else is aware, or – depending on the situation – raise it with HR.

Sometimes it’s the nudge people need to bring it out into the open while it’s still in the early stages.

Lastly, always remember to be human. We usually can’t choose exactly who we fall for, and none of us are perfect when it comes to relationships. We’re all processing lots of emotions inside our heads, including the two people who are trying to figure out what it means for them at the same time as everyone else.

Relationships in the office can be messy and complex, but if you’re transparent, discreet and human they can still somehow work.

I’m certain these are some of the principles that the now-infamous chief executive and the chief people officer wish they had thought of before those two seconds of footage aired that forever changed the trajectory of their lives.

Tim Duggan is author of Work Backwards: The Revolutionary Method to Work Smarter and Live Better. He writes a regular newsletter at timduggan.substack.com