Retirees, it’s time to ditch the ego and focus on what really matters

1 week ago 4

Opinion

September 6, 2025 — 5.01am

There’s a popular perception, fuelled by headlines and grumbles from younger generations, that today’s retirees are sitting pretty. The stereotype is of cashed-up Boomers with homes paid off, fat super balances and too much money for their own good.

The reality is far less glamorous. More than half of Australians over 67 are living primarily on the age pension – a meagre income they’ve had to wait until their late sixties to access just to be able to step back from the workforce.

Retirement isn’t a race, it’s a time for reflection, careful financial management, and, above all, finding real purpose and joy.

The “average” retiree today has between $180,000 and $250,000 in super, access to the pension, and yes, nine in 10 own their home outright. That doesn’t make them wealthy. And, to add to it, they need that super to support them until they die, and for many, that will be in their nineties – a long way off.

Run the numbers and you see it clearly. An average single retiree drawing down around 6 per cent or 7 per cent of their super in the first decade of retirement will end up with about $45,000 in income a year, tax free, if they don’t choose to do additional work.

A couple in the same position, combining their super with the couple age pension, can usually manage an income closer to $60,000 or $70,000. And while that money goes further than in your working years because it’s tax-free, it still doesn’t buy a lavish lifestyle in most Australian cities today.

Most retirees are doing it carefully, not easily. But that doesn’t sound as fun – so we avoid talking about it. Instead, the chatter is about the standards we expect on our cruises, the new caravan and car and the big trips on the horizon.

The only race worth winning is the one you run on your own terms.

Depending on the crowd, the conversation often flips to how much we’re helping our adult kids. Even that has become a competitive game. Add in a couple of wealthy, indiscreet friends and you can suddenly feel like a loser in the retirement race.

It seems keeping up with the Joneses has found a new insidious way to permeate life after work, and this time it’s not young families drowning in debt, it’s retirees competing on ego, exorbitant spending, and a lack of reality. And it is dangerous for them because they can’t get a higher paying job to pay for their sins later.

I’ve seen retirees trying to keep up, both to please their children, who have high expectations of financial help, and to impress their friends who are deeply entrenched in the retirement race alongside them. And it gets a bit tragic.

People blowing through their only savings on stuff, running up credit card debt, or gifting money they can’t spare to adult children who don’t realise how hard life has become – or worse, who make them feel obligated. Some kids even threaten to cut their parents off if they don’t. We need to call this out, give it a name, and say out loud “I’m not in it to win it”.

Not everyone in retirement is rich. Not everyone can bankroll their kids, let alone cover their own needs and wants. And not everyone knows how to say, “I’m sorry, I just can’t afford it. Could we take it down a notch and still have the fun together at a lower price point?”

Everyone fears being judged as the party pooper, or the parent who made bad financial decisions. But here’s the truth: extreme wealth in retirement is rare among everyday Australians. And retirement isn’t a race, it’s a time for reflection, careful financial management, and, above all, finding real purpose and joy.

The reality is we’re still a long way from retirees being a majority of non-pensioners. The shift is happening, but slowly. In 2000, only about 22 per cent of new retirees were fully self-funded. By 2023, that figure had grown to around 43 per cent.

That’s progress, but it still means two-thirds of people starting retirement today rely – at least partly – on the pension. It will be at least another decade before the generation who’ve had super above 9 per cent, invested in growth assets and compounding all their working lives, become the norm.

Until then, half a generation is left to struggle while media, community and mateship rub their noses in a lifestyle they’d love to have but simply can’t afford.

So how do we help? We start by talking honestly about what really drives long-term retirement satisfaction, and by helping people sidestep both the stereotypes of retirement and the insidious disease of keeping up with the Joneses.

We stop feeding the fear that if you can’t afford a luxury lifestyle or to bankroll your kids’ first home, you’ve somehow failed. Instead, we help people grow confident living with what they’ve got — and show them it’s still possible to have a great retirement.

Because a great retirement isn’t about comparison, or “stuff” or even wealth. It’s about purpose, fulfilment, excitement and passion. It’s about getting out there and participating.

Let’s face it: happiness doesn’t come from dopamine hits – those quick, big, money-spending moments. That type of happiness subsides quickly (even if it hangs around on Instagram a long time).

Instead of talking about doing it tough, the chatter is about the standards we expect on our cruises, the new caravan and car, and the big trips on the horizon.

Real contentment comes from eudaemonic happiness: the deeper kind that comes from meaning and purpose in retirement. And yes, financial security underpins it, but even that is within reach for many today as the age pension and super work together to create a solid base.

So if you’ve been feeling the pressure to keep up in retirement, stop and think about this: the only race worth winning is the one you run on your own terms. So, instead, take some time this weekend to do three things:

1. Write down what really matters to you. Is it travelling within your own budget? Is it time with the grandkids? Is it looking after your health? Is it finding meaning by participating in organisations or causes you care about? Get clear on your top three, and remember, they don’t have to revolve around spending.

2. Reality-check your money. Look at what you’ve got - the age pension, super, savings outside super, and your home - and remind yourself that this is your base. It’s not about matching anyone else. It’s about making what you have work for you, for the rest of your life, and finding steady, lasting happiness in this phase.

3. Plan one joyful thing within your means. Don’t stop doing things just because you need to be careful with money. Book the dinner with friends, make it a potluck. Plan the picnic with your family. Map out the road trip that doesn’t blow your budget. Joy doesn’t need a big price tag.

Remember, you don’t need a million dollars to have an epic retirement – it’s all in how you live your life, and in choosing to live it proactively, within your means. And if you can teach your kids that, you’ve given them one of the most valuable life skills we never talk about enough.

Bec Wilson is the author of the bestseller How to Have an Epic Retirement and the newly released Prime Time: 27 Lessons for the New Midlife. She writes a weekly newsletter at epicretirement.net and hosts the Prime Time podcast.

Advice given in this article is general in nature and is not intended to influence readers’ decisions about investing or financial products. They should always seek their own professional advice that takes into account their own personal circumstances before making financial decisions.

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