Laws of the ring: How to find the right engagement gift if you’re popping the question

2 months ago 15

In terms of life moments, the decision to get married is one of the biggest, marking the start of a significant life chapter. It’s an event couples often want to share with family and friends, making this time of year an ideal time to pop the question.

Key to that moment in Western culture is a formal statement of love and a promise to commit to one person, symbolised by giving an engagement ring. Jewellers report that the Christmas and New Year period is traditionally a busy time for them as couples – and some brave solo would-be grooms – drop by to choose, collect or discuss ideas for the perfect statement ring.

In Western culture, the engagement ring is a formal statement of love and commitment.

TMC Fine Jewellers co-founder Makayla Donovan says the engagement ring is unlike any other piece of jewellery.

“An engagement ring isn’t just jewellery – it’s a symbol, a promise, a future moment waiting to happen,” she says. “It carries emotional weight in a way no other piece of jewellery does. We’re not just helping someone choose a ring – we’re helping them mark a turning point in their lives.”

While many cite the origins of engagement rings to Ancient Egypt, where they were made of less long-lasting reed or leather, the ring’s tradition as a sign of betrothal was first documented during Roman times. Diamond rings first appeared in 1477 when the Archduke Maximilian of Austria gave such a ring to Mary of Burgundy, cementing it not just as a sign of love but of wealth and status. The strongest natural stone, diamonds have also come to symbolise eternity, beauty and even purity.

While couples are more likely to choose a ring together, it is still largely a gift given by the groom to the bride.

“Same-sex couples give each other rings, which is super lovely, and good for business,” says luxury jeweller Nadia Neuman from Sydney’s Mondial by Nadia. “Men are not getting engagement rings – they are buying Rolexes or boats.”

In some ways, engagement rings have changed little in 550 years, with diamonds still most popular. In recent years, lab-grown, or synthetic, diamonds have disrupted the engagement ring market. Significantly more affordable than the natural variety, Donovan says they appeal to young couples grappling with an expensive housing market and cost-of-living pressures.

“Lab-grown diamonds for Millennials and Gen Z remain the most popular, largely for their durability, brilliance and timelessness,” she says. “[They are] especially [popular with] younger couples who are investing their money where they see the best return – for example, purchasing a house opposed to spending upwards on $50,000 on a mined diamond.”

Although at the upper end of the market, Neuman says she that until earlier this year, she was fielding daily questions about lab-grown diamonds.

“Now it has dropped back to once every couple of weeks – the market has died down,” she says. “We pride ourselves on natural stones.”

To differentiate themselves, Neuman says some couples choose precious stones such as sapphires, which come in almost any colour, over diamonds.

While Neuman says some clients come to her for contemporary designs – the jeweller was named Champion of Champions at the International Jewellery Design Excellence Award this year – the classic cuts and settings are still in vogue. Cuts to look out for include baguette, radiant and emerald shapes set into solitaire, trilogy or halo settings. Bezel settings have a more contemporary feel while others prefer the classic double-pronged design.

“Art deco never goes out of fashion,” says Neuman.

Neuman says some couples are choosing coloured precious stones such as sapphires rather than traditional diamonds.

Michael Fallah, the chief executive at Michael Arthur jewellers says the right design marries aesthetics with practicalities.

“We get to know our client to see if they will be wearing it every day or if they are a nurse and only able to wear it on weekends or after work, for example,” he says. “Once we know our client’s lifestyle, we can discuss design options. For example, a teacher is always using their hands, and to avoid unnecessary damage, we would recommend a design where the diamond is set lower to avoid being knocked.”

While everyone is after a ring that resonates emotionally, there’s no question broader influences are at play. Since Taylor Swift’s engagement this year, with a ring featuring an old mine-cut diamond, Neuman says clients are coincidentally showing greater interest in resetting stones from old jewellery. Working with an old stone is yet another way to signal individuality and exclusivity.

Taylor Swift’s engagement ring (left) after her celebrating her engagemenrt with fiance Travis Kelce.

Fallah says it is common for celebrities to influence design choices.

“Celebrity engagement rings are a big influence on design and trends. For example, Selena Gomez’s engagement ring kicked of Marquise cut diamonds again,” he says. “This opens the door for us to design new and interesting designs. Once they are shared online this can explode & one design keep you busy if it goes viral.”

Donovan says while most people do not seek to copy a celebrity’s ring, it’s hard to miss what the rich and famous are choosing.

“Cultural moments absolutely have an influence, but usually in subtle ways,” she says. “Celebrity engagements can validate certain shapes or styles – but couples rarely come in wanting to ‘copy’ a ring. Instead, they’re inspired to choose something that feels expressive, distinctive and reflective of their own relationship, while of course, taking a little inspiration from their favourite celeb.”

While budgets typically range from $3000 to upwards of $50,000, Neuman says the key to a beautiful engagement ring is a well-chosen stone in a balanced setting.

“There’s no cutting corners,” she says.

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