If Australia are just messing with England’s heads, it’s a plan that’s worked before

3 months ago 19

Opinion

December 4, 2025 — 8.52am

There’s tricky, and there’s too tricky by half. On the morning of the start of the second Test match in Brisbane, Australia had still not announced its final XI.

Steve Smith said, “We’ll wait and see what the wicket looks like, and from there we’ll determine a playing XI.” If you buy that, here’s a set of steak knives.

Pat Cummins bowls in the nets in Brisbane.

Patrick Cummins, ready or not? That wasn’t dependent on how many centimetres of grass were left unshaven. Nor was it resolved by Cummins being left out of the squad, but not “ruled out” of playing. By leaving the question open, Australia knew what they were doing with Cummins: deploying him as a bogey man.

Nathan Lyon, in or out? Usman Khawaja? Here on Tuesday morning, gone (but not from the squad) by Tuesday afternoon. Travis Head to open the batting? Let England stew over that one.

Added together, these preparations looked too confused to be true. Two alternatives remained: Australia, at 1-0 up and playing on a surface and in a format where they have vastly more experience than England, were in complete disarray; or they were playing ducks and drakes to mess with English heads. You decide.

Given the brevity of the Perth Test match, it’s as if the days and weeks of fervid speculation about these Ashes were just kicked down the road by 11 days. Phony war had been followed by a phony peace.

With neither set of players taking part in any actual games, what remained were mind games, and it’s been interesting to see the totality of the contrast. England are sticking to their plan.

Mark Wood’s replacement by Will Jacks suggests a slight variation on that plan, but it only makes sense, after Perth, that they should take the opportunity provided by Wood’s injury to stiffen their batting.

Ben Stokes, at this stage of the series, is fit enough to bowl as an authentic fourth seamer, and where four don’t work, it’s hard to see five making a difference.

Australia could have stuck to their plan too, except that they won in Perth by not having one.

Head’s promotion to opener in the second innings was the final piece of ad libbing in an improv performance, and, just as England have doubled down on their plan for Brisbane, Australia have doubled down on their lack of one.

Bluffing and feinting are usually the last resorts of the weak, yet Australia are using them from a position of strength – or what passes for strength after the second day in Perth. It’s quite likely that they are also playing mind games upon themselves.

The master of this kind of tomfoolery, Shane Warne, would be applauding; he intuited and exploited, as nobody else has, the English tendency to become their own worst enemies during Ashes series in Australia.

The England cricket team has had an unmatched record for talking itself down blind alleys when things start to go wrong here, and I suspect that the Australian shenanigans have been concocted to assist their guests on their way.