After decades thinking they had little in common, these siblings finally became friends

Samuel Dundas, 43, is a baritone with Opera Australia. His brother Toby, 44, plays drums in rock band The Temper Trap. After decades thinking they had little in common, the pair have unexpectedly become friends.

Opera Australia baritone Samuel (left) and brother Toby Dundas, The Temper Trap drummer.Credit: Wayne Taylor

Toby: We were radically different growing up [in Melbourne]. Up to about 10, I was quiet and Sam was wild. Mum would take us to the shops and he’d run around, pulling stuff off shelves. When I started high school, it flipped. I became the naughty kid, caught up in the teenage rebellion of shoplifting and drugs.

We never played the same sports or listened to the same music: Sam’s taste was a bit dorky. We were mean to each other. Sam hit me in the head with a golf club; I’ve still got a dent in my skull. I dropped a TV on him once. In year 9, I went to boarding school and buried my bong in the backyard. Sam dug it up, got caught and ratted me out. Dad sent me a stern letter. I couldn’t believe Sam would bring the hammer down on me like that. I thought he was a strange kid, but I was probably equally strange to him.

Sam was in year 10 when he discovered he had this magical singing voice and gained the confidence that comes from realising you’ve got talent. I was obsessed with music and, even though we were at different ends of the spectrum, had a sense of pride that he’d found something he loved and was chasing it down, getting lead roles in school musicals and a scholarship. It was probably annoying having me and my drum kit in the next room and, honestly, I don’t think I was very good – just loud. I had no dreams of being a musician; it was just about hanging out with mates. When The Temper Trap took off, Sam was already in Sydney, then I moved to London.

Until the past few months, we haven’t lived in the same city since the early 2000s. Coming back to Australia has been about reconnecting with family. The sibling stuff from when we were young has melted away and it feels natural to be in the minutiae of each other’s lives, especially since our sons are similar ages [Toby’s Wynn is 6, Samuel’s Kit is 4]. I’ve realised we have a strong foundation, even if it’s taken 30-plus years to start building on it.

‘His voice is like a cannon … My son is actually a bit scared of him singing Happy Birthday.’

The energy that used to really annoy me when we were kids now makes Sam a great person to have in a room. He’s exuberant, brings people into conversations. Opera isn’t my favourite type of music, but to see him in person is captivating. He has a compelling stage presence and his voice is like a cannon. You don’t want to be in a small room when he unleashes. My son is actually a bit scared of him singing Happy Birthday.

When we were kids, I remember him, at one stage, pulling clumps out of his hair. Over the years, I’ve understood it more as he’s talked about his anxiety, especially when performing. He’s in a high-stress job, having to go out there in front of thousands of people and only use his voice, which is such a vulnerable instrument. I really admire him. I’m now working on something that I’ll get him to demo. We’re both big fans of [Melbourne AFL club] the Demons and I’m writing a song for fans to sing before games. Sam could be the perfect voice to help pitch it to the club. It’s a long shot, but it’ll be fun to try.

Samuel: My wife and I are in the process of thinking about a second kid, but it took me 35 years to like my sibling, so I don’t know. When we were little kids, we played together but, as we hit puberty, there was a split. He played basketball; I played soccer. I was bullied terribly; Toby found his identity straight away. He was into skateboarding, a confident kid. I didn’t have that until I found singing when I was 15.

“Toby [pictured with guitar] always wanted to do music,” says Samuel (with saucepan drum). Credit:

Brothers don’t need any excuse to fight and we were pretty rough. When we were in our mid-teens, Mum and Dad got a holiday house at Anglesea and there was a table-tennis table. Toby and I played 56 games in three days and ended up at 28-all: I could barely walk at the end of it. Twelve years later, we went to a bar in Collingwood and played the 57th game. I won. It’s the only time I’ve beaten him at anything.

Toby always wanted to do music. He saw what he had to do and he went out and did it, whereas I got lumped with an aptitude to sing but had none of the drive or patience. I hated him practising. The nitty-gritty of learning is tedious and awful. I’m proud of what I’ve done but he’s, clearly, more successful. You’ve only got to go to the toilet at Mum and Dad’s place and you’re sitting in front of Toby’s gold and platinum records. It’s never felt competitive, though: I’m proud of him. I wish I could say I’ve never traded on my brother being in The Temper Trap, but I definitely have. My wife was seriously impressed when I told her.

‘Until recently, if Toby rang me, I’d be waiting for the reason, but he’s started calling just to talk.’

Until recently, if Toby rang me, I’d be waiting for the reason, but he’s started calling just to talk. We have a friendship now, rather than just being brothers. I put it down to us both having kids and that seismic shift in what family means. A few years ago, we went on a spontaneous food and beer crawl when we were both in Melbourne. We shared our sons’ birth stories, the journey of being a parent. It was a window into this person that I was getting to know: good, kind, caring. There would have been times I thought he was emotionally stunted, but I’m understanding he’s just reserved. He lets people see what they need to see. After 20 years apart, he’s now living around the corner from me. It’s like discovering someone new, yet you’ve known them your whole life.

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I was at Mum and Dad’s recently and got our old Lego out. Then Toby came over and we played. He was building space stuff; I was going through the pirate pieces. I don’t think we’ve ever played together like that, but there we were, two 40-something men, with our bricks. There’s part of me that wonders whether I’ll ever be cool enough for Toby, but this felt so normal, so shared, so common. Even if we weren’t related, I think we’d hang out now.

Samuel will be performing in Opera Australia’s Madama Butterfly from Jan 3-Feb 4. The Temper Trap will be touring NSW and Victoria from Dec 28-Jan 4.

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