2 weeks ago
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“Reports of President’s Trump’s demise have been circulating since The Pentagon Pizza Index, a website which tracks pizza orders near the White House, experienced a surge in activity, which led some observers to believe that a major incident was taking place,” writes Paul Taylor of Winston Hills. “I was wondering if there is an equivalent Parliamentary Pizza Index in our nation’s capital or, given our PM’s fondness for Greek food, a Canberra Keftedes Count?”
The Globite case (C8) is closed, but there’s still a punishing number of tales in the Column 8 inbox on retribution in the education system. Take Garry Thomas of Oatlands, 71 years young and a former pupil at the now defunct Ryde High. In an era that predated sports drinks, Garry took a bottle of scotch to a sports carnival: “Consequently I was caught. My punishment was ‘six of the best’ on each hand for five days running. It must’ve worked, I don’t drink scotch now.”
“While in fourth class at Christian Brothers Rozelle, I held the record for most straps in a day!” claims Tony DeGiovanni of Bawley Point. “First, a six for talking, then a four for throwing a paper plane and, finally, six for accidentally setting fire to the class altar during prayers.”
Readers will know that our friend Alison Brooks is a denizen of Hope Island (Qld), but right now, she’s staying with fellow contributor Merilyn McClung in Forestville, and on the drive down couldn’t help but notice that “the roadsides were a mass of bright yellow wattle with the occasional blossom. It really is springtime, so when does the sneezing start?”
Ned Snow of Lilyfield is well aware: “Hot on the heels of the first day of spring, I would like to announce that my koel is back. He made his presence known at 3:40am this morning in the usual way, upstaging the neighbourhood currawong, which has been going off around 4am each morning for a while now.”
“The first day of spring and the first blowfly arrives,” adds Doris Stewart of Double Bay. “How do they know?” They’ve got wingstincts.
Well, there goes our appetite. Terry O’Brien of North Parramatta thinks “It should come as no surprise that one of the major retailers has reported a loss, as it regularly has TV ads for half price undies followed by a claim that they are the fresh food people!”
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