Why isn’t my money making me happier?

1 week ago 5

Opinion

September 30, 2025 — 10.53am

I feel like I should be happier than I am, but I don’t really know what’s missing. I’ve ticked the boxes: I make good money, have a nice home and family, and I’ve got a good stable career, savings and investments. I’m not really asking for financial advice. I’m doing well financially, and that’s not something I take for granted. But I guess I wasn’t expecting to feel this way, after working hard to achieve everything that I have. You talk a lot about money mindset, so I thought you might have some insights that could help.

Congratulations, you’ve hit a new financial level. This is the: “Is this it? Now what?” level. I’m being playful, but I want you to know: you’re not alone. This is a phase I see many people go through on the other side of accomplishing a certain level of financial success.

Reaching the peak of your money goals can be strangely unfulfilling.

That level isn’t defined by a certain dollar figure – I’ve seen this play out at different levels for different people: for some it hits after the successful exit of their start-up, for others it might hit after achieving a specific financial milestone they’d been working towards – e.g. $X in savings or investments, or paying off the mortgage, or retirement.

The common denominator isn’t a number, but the accomplishment of something you had placed a lot of value on, and getting to the other side only to realise – it wasn’t a magical portal into a different life, like you thought it’d be. There is now a gap between how your life looks, and how you thought it would feel. So, how do you start to close that gap?

Life is to be lived, not achieved

It sounds like you’re not very connected to what makes you feel fulfilled. If you are ticking boxes your way through life, chances are, you’re living your life like a to-do list. This is a good strategy for accomplishment and achievement, but a poor strategy for fulfillment.

Most of us fall into the trap of having some unrealistic expectations of what financial success will actually deliver.

Fulfillment is a feeling that comes from within you, not from the outside. It’s personal; unique to the individual. You don’t discover it by ticking a bunch of boxes that someone else has handed you. You actually need to have some gauge as to what makes you feel fulfilled.

This means shifting from pursuing the things you think you’re supposed to do, or should do, to things you want to do. If it’s not something you’re already practised at, this might take some time. It might cause some discomfort.

If you’ve been optimising for achievement and not fulfillment, switching gears can be confronting. You might find that some of your current goals may no longer be aligned with your new goal of fulfillment.

Recalibrate your expectations of money

Most of us fall into the trap of having some unrealistic expectations of what financial success will actually deliver. Often, there are many ulterior motives in our pursuit of financial success.

Maybe you think it’s going to prove something to someone (a parent, colleague etc), or that you’ll finally feel something when you get there (successful, powerful, accomplished, loved), or that it’s somehow going to solve non-financial problems (happier family or marriage, self-esteem or confidence issues etc).

You might even pursue financial success as a way of avoiding these other areas of your life because you’re hoping that financial success will fix them.

When you finally get there, you might realise – money largely only solves money problems. It doesn’t automatically resolve other problems. If you don’t feel connected in your relationships, or good in your body, or creatively fulfilled through your work or hobbies – more money won’t fix that.

Sure, it can buy you resources to help you fix it, and it can certainly have a ripple effect (e.g. less financial conflict in a relationship being a common one) but for the most part, you are still going to have to actively work on those areas of your life to see improvement.

So, what expectations did you have of financial success? What did you think would happen when you got here? Where did you project unrealistic expectations onto money? Are there areas of your life that you know need work, but you’ve conveniently ignored while working on your financial goals?

This isn’t a mistake, or an error – it’s an opportunity to step into a new level of purpose and fulfillment. That opportunity is one you’ve afforded for yourself, by virtue of the hard work it took to get you here – because it usually takes a certain level of financial success to get to a place where you’re finding yourself wanting for more.

So, as tough as this season might feel, don’t forget to appreciate this for the privilege and gift that it is.

Paridhi Jain is founder of SkilledSmart, which helps adults learn to manage, save and invest money through financial education courses and classes.

Advice given in this article is general in nature and not intended to influence readers’ decisions about investing or financial products. They should always seek their own professional advice that takes into account their own personal circumstances before making any financial decisions.

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