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“There’s one born every minute” is the ominous headline on Richard Z. Santos’s article for Slate about the booming business of luxury writers’ retreats. And yes, there is this vague suggestion throughout his piece that the people who sign up for these expensive adventures could be conning themselves.
Spend a few thousand to get to Guatemala and enjoy a beach massage and a traditional Mayan shaman fire ceremony, Santos writes. Spend a week on the Queen Mary 2, or a Tuscan estate, or a French chateau. “Maybe – if your jet lag and the wine from the night before have worn off – you can even sneak in a little writing time.”
The ocean liner Queen Mary 2 is one of the options for a luxury writers’ retreat.Credit: Cunard
On the internet, there are dozens of these tempting offers for writers or wannabe writers with deep pockets, all sounding like White Lotus without the horrible people. These are not venerable writers’ retreats such as Yaddo in New York State, where applicants compete to get in. Anyone with the cash can go.
“Wouldn’t it be fantastic if someone was serving you delicious, healthy food, and there was a crackerjack writing coach on call if you have a question or get stuck?” it says on the website of Jennifer Louden, who organises retreats in the US. “And a glorious wise circle of women to giggle with.”
Many glowing reviews and photographs of glorious, wise, giggly women (the participants usually seem to be women, often in midlife or older) testify that this is a formula that works, whether you’re in beautiful surroundings in Italy, Bali, Vietnam, Byron Bay or the Gold Coast hinterland (Australian writing coach Edwina Shaw runs retreats in all these places). As well as writing-coaching and workshops, you might be offered meditation, yoga, Pilates, hiking, horse riding, gourmet meals and generous daily helpings of wellness and mindfulness.
Mind you, I think Santos is a bit hard on the people who go on these retreats. They are adamant they are not being conned. They praise the writing mentors, the positive feedback, the relaxed atmosphere, the sense of getting away from all the pesky interruptions that make the writing life so hard. They are inspired, newly confident, and they rejoice in the connections they make with other writers. I know at least two writers who swear by Mary-Jane Holmes, who runs writing retreats at a Welsh farm and a country house in Spain.
Would you like editing tips with your wellness treatment?Credit: Istock
It does seem unfair that only those with time and money can indulge in such breaks, however. Could there perhaps be a few scholarship places for emerging or disadvantaged writers who can’t afford the package?
Meanwhile, if you’re cashed-up and eager to start writing or revising or deepening your craft with some TLC and an inspirational backdrop, by all means go on a retreat. But be careful what you pick. Make sure you are clear about your goals, and look for packages that will fulfil them.
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Writers with leftist political convictions, for example, might be attracted to Arquetopia Foundation, which runs residency programs in Mexico, Peru and Italy, encouraging writers to “embrace their practice as a form of political action”.
Be extra discriminating when looking for your writing teacher. A writer of bestselling self-care books will probably offer a different program to a writer who has won international prizes for poetry. Both can give valuable advice, but will it be what you need?
Above all, I think, make sure that the program is not so packed full of enticing options that you don’t get any time for silent reflection and, you know, actual writing. The real creativity will probably come later, but you want to be off to a good start.
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