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And he’s right. The way it works is, when you hit the ball and it clips the net then dribbles over for your point, you’re expected to raise your hand and apologise to your opponent. Why the hell? What have you done wrong, exactly?
As Futterman points out, nothing of the kind happens in other sports. “Baseball players don’t apologise when a long fly ball hits the top of the fence and bounces over for a home run. Placekickers don’t apologise when a field-goal attempt clanks off the uprights and drops behind the crossbar for three points. In soccer and ice hockey, a shot that caroms off the iron and into the net is a work of brilliance. Ever see a basketball player apologise after a 3-pointer bounces 10 feet in the air and drops through the net? Of course not.”
Sold.
Aussie battler a champion human
Vale, “Aussie Joe” Bugner. He was a lovely bloke, and well-liked, with an extraordinary life story. While he had his admirers for his ability to take deathly punches and stay standing, he also had his critics for his lack of ability to throw them in return.
Sports Illustrated once said of him: “He has something in common with Michael Jackson. He wears a glove on his right hand for no apparent purpose.” With a similar bent, the legendary Scottish boxing and sportswriter Hugh McIlvanney once noted that “Joe Bugner possesses the physique of a Greek statue but with fewer moves.”
Joe Bugner and Muhammad Ali ahead of their fight at Madison Square Garden in 1975.Credit: AP
I first came across him in 1987 when, after he had decamped to our country from Britain, he resumed his career at the age of 36, and in only the third piece I’d ever had published, had a bit of a go at him in the National Times after he defeated the American, Greg Page, one night at the Sydney Entertainment Centre. He replied on the Today Show that I was “a failed sportsman”.
With the scores all even on the card thereafter, we got on well over the years to the point that much later he asked me to write his biography. I declined, but it would have been – whatever else – a very colourful one. Most often cited about Aussie Joe was that he fought Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier in back-to-back fights in 1973, and two years later faced Ali again.
“Damn you’re the ugliest white boy I’ve ever seen,” Ali told him at one point, ’Your mother must have cried when she saw you!”
“Hang about, Muhammad,” Joe replied, “you think I’m ugly? You haven’t met my sister.”
For once, Muhammad had no reply.
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Though Bugner lost all three bouts against Ali and Frazier, he was the only man who fought both champions, without being knocked out – but the damage was done. For those who make their living handing out, and receiving concussions, it almost always is. We all know the tragic way Ali finished up – a shambling wreck of a man, who was no more than a distorted echo of the magnificent man and athlete he was.
For all the money that Frazier earned, he finished his life in a one-bedroom apartment above his gym in Philadelphia, struggling with a range of medical conditions. Greg Page, mentioned above, died at the age of 50, after suffering a stroke when he was 40. Joe finished his days in the dementia ward. And that is boxing. It is so alluring, at the time, giving such a visceral thrill to spectators. But long after the carnival is over, the mess of their brains remains.
Still, Aussie Joe was a courageous man, with a great generosity of spirit, and a great sense of humour. Vale, mate.
Wallaby gold
There was more great news for Australian rugby after the financial types finally finished counting up their haul from the Lions tour and announced that all of Rugby Australia’s debt had been cleared, and – after what looks to be a $120 million profit – there was even a good chunk of change left over in the coffers. This is an extraordinary turnaround from the situation in 2021, when the game was on the bones of its arse and facing nothing less than financial extinction.
Fraser McReight and James O’Connor after the Wallabies’ win in the third Test against the Lions.Credit: Getty Images
It was then that the then chair Hamish McLennan and CEO Andy Marinos made some big moves.
With no money in the bank, and no assets – and things so bad a return to amateurism was on the cards – they managed to borrow $40m from an American credit fund to pay players and keep the lights on. They also secured Cadbury as major sponsors after Qantas declined to renew following the Israel Folau disaster, while Harvey Norman came on board to sponsor Super Rugby, bringing money into the game.
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Next on the agenda was to launch a joint venture with the Lions, on the reckoning this tour would be huge, before – now they had something to sell – moving on to do deals with broadcasters.
They then went hard after the hosting rights for the 2027 World Cup, and were successful, giving them a guaranteed $100m hosting fee.
Most importantly of all? The rugby on offer has been strong enough that the mob has returned, and the broadcasters are being swamped with viewers driving record interest across Nine, the publisher of this masthead, and more particularly on Stan.
Ben Kimber, the director of Stan Sports, tells me that the morning after the Wallabies’ 38-22 win over the Boks at Ellis Park saw that match become the No.1 most viewed on-demand item ever on Stan Sport, with a bullet, beating records set by the Olympics and Rugby World Cup – while the Lions’ reach across FTA was also massive.
Kimber also wanted to waffle on about how the newly acquired Premier League on Stan is also breaking new records, but I don’t care about that. Premier League was never facing the abyss. Australian rugby was. But now it’s baaaaack!
What They Said
AFL commentator Rohan Connolly, on Twitter, after the Adelaide Crows crowd loudly booed Collingwood player, Isaac Quaynor – the complainant against Crow Izak Rankine, which saw the latter suspended for four matches for homophobia: “If you ever wanted to confirm the stereotype of footy fans as uneducated, bigoted arseholes ... yep, booing a guy (Quaynor) for being on the RECEIVING end of a homophobic slur ... yep, that will do it. Dickheads. #AFLCrowsPies.”
Reece Walsh, in an Instagram post, which showed him drinking water from a toilet bowl: “They reckon there’s a new form of recovery to recover the muscles. Toilet water... Give it a little drink.” Brilliant player, strange cat.
Brad Fittler’s summation of Reece Walsh’s Instagram post which showed him scooping up water from a toilet bowl and drinking it: “He is taking the piss.”
Ricky Stuart on the Raiders claiming the minor premiership: “The thing I like about it now is it’s easy coaching it because there’s no pressure on us. We’re not meant to be here, no one thought we were going to be anywhere near the pointy end of the competition’”
Bayer Leverkusen’s Robert Andrich on their problems which culminated in players arguing about who would take a penalty: “We can’t stand around for two minutes and play rock-paper-scissors to see who’s going to take the penalty. That’s one of many things that aren’t going well for us at the moment.”
Kenya’s two-time Olympic gold medalist Eliud Kipchoge after running in the Sydney marathon: “I’m privileged to still be running at this age. I’m actually more in love with marathons now just to participate and inspire people. Above all, I’m running for humanity, running for hope and telling people to come out and run. I came here to tell Australians to please help me, I will help you to make this country a running nation. And I think we achieved that in Sydney.” Inspiring. But pass me a party pie, anyway.
Kipchoge on Sydney: “Every world marathon course has its own beauty, its own terrain. But this is a beautiful and unique course. The beauty was about the crowd, the way people cheered on the way, at the beginning, at the finishing line, it was wonderful.”
Sifan Hassan on winning the Sydney women’s marathon: “The last five kilometres, I’m dead. It’s the first major marathon in Australia, in Sydney, and I’m the first one to win, so it’s big history for me. I felt so good in the first 5Ks and I think I pushed too hard. I pushed really hard the last 10ks. I was like, ‘That’s not really smart. I’m going to pay the price’, but I feel I got away with it. I’m so grateful.”
Molly Picklum after becoming women’s surfing world champion: “It really feels like the cherry on top to what I’ve done to my career. To be a world champion, and it just was such an amazing season. Was really special, and it’ll stay in there for life.”
Alex de Minaur on another grand slam quarter-final loss: “Right now I’m looking at this like a wasted opportunity. It’s tough. Today was an opportunity to break new ground. I was nowhere near the level I needed to be at. That’s frustrating because you don’t get these chances often.”
Australian world champion Molly Picklum.Credit: World Surf League
Rugby Australia after it paid off its debt thanks to Lions tour: “Repaying the credit facility ahead of schedule is a significant milestone for the game and reflects the commercial success of the British & Irish Lions series, cost discipline and the efficacy of Rugby Australia’s organisational reset.” Corporate gibberish. What they mean is, YOU BLOODY BEAUTY!
Former Dallas Cowboy Michael Irvin in a documentary of their glory days: “We are all imperfect people. And each of us has at least two of us in all of us. That person you show everybody. And that person that you never show anybody.”
Philosophical Roosters coach Trent Robinson: “You don’t get giddy, the job’s not over, though you can feel I’m really proud of the guys. But also there’s next week, there’s always next week. Until there’s not.”
Team of the Week
Amanda Anisimova. Wow. Rebounded from losing 6-0, 6-0 to Iga Swiatek in the Wimbledon final to beating her at the US Open. Told yers, she was a good ’un!
Swans. Their AFLW side is undefeated after three games.
Warringah Rats. Won the Shute Shield.
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Wallabies. Take on Pumas in Townsville later today, at the odd time of 2.30 pm AEST.
Wallaroos. Take on England later tonight in a massive World Cup clash.
Mad Monday. Lock up your dogs – NRL players will be on the prowl.
Molly Picklum. The Australian became the women’s surfing world champion. Rah!
RIP “Aussie Joe” Bugner. Passed away this week.
