They were no match for the Peloponnesian Air League

Kerry Kyriacou of Strathfield has more exam folly (C8): “A student in my Year 11 ancient history class misheard ‘Ephors’ - Spartan magistrates - as ‘airforce’. He was certain that was the reason Sparta won the Peloponnesian wars around 430 BC.”

“Regarding the recent ‘Cla(i)re squared’ (C8) discussion, I was once in a meeting with Richard Stevens and Steve Richards where things could have got confusing,” relates Natasha Lee of Alexandria.

“To reinforce the generation gap (C8), Margaret Grove, try telling a high school student that the time is ‘a quarter to eight’,” suggests Hugh Barrett of Sanctuary Point. “Complete bafflement.”

Because of this, Tony Sullivan of Islington “got rid of the digital clock in my classroom and installed two analogue ones. One was a gift which had cat pictures with numbers superimposed, and at regular intervals we got ‘meows’. I had kids turning up just to hear it. And this was at a high school! Hopefully, some of them learned to tell the time, too.”

Bill Easter of Mollymook Beach thought his class was finally getting it until he heard someone say “‘Not much longer, Kevin, it’s five to fifty now!’ After some thought, I realised he meant it was 10.45.”

Here’s an alternative to paying for and following a taxi (C8) from Ellen Kassel of Collaroy: “Lost in Dublin, I gave up and parked in a No Stopping Emergency Zone. In no time the Garda arrived to move me on. After I explained my problem, they led me to my hotel – no cost and with a smile.”

Meri Will’s appeal for an alternative and perhaps more localised name for Christmas (C8), has enjoyed a fervent response from the demographic. Going for the latter, Suzanne Saunders of Wadeville plumped for ‘Yousetide’, while Garry Champion of Jamisontown took the practical option with ‘Boxing Day Eve’.”

There is, however, an overwhelming favourite in the form of “Festivus (for the rest of us)”, dating back to 1966 (thanks Lionel Latoszek of Long Jetty) and given a new lease of life in the Seinfeld episode The Strike (thanks Janice Creenaune of Austinmer). Others taking the “show about nothing” option are Andrew Taubman of Queens Park, Bruce Moxton of Artarmon, Mark Berg of Caringbah South and Ted Richards of Batemans Bay. Yet, despite the ubiquity, Lionel was quick to point out that Festivus is actually celebrated on December 23. Back to the workbench.

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