Parents offered ‘coaching’ before the new school year

Taking the first steps from primary school into high school can be daunting for any young student, but one Reservoir girl isn’t letting the fear of the unknown hold her back.

Emma Wilkie is due to start at Reservoir High School this week, but has already had help to make the shift thanks to help from her parents and older sister Mia.

“She told me not to be worried, and don’t be nervous but to try and be excited,” the 12-year-old said ahead of her first week.

“[Mia] also showed me how to do the lock for my locker.”

Despite assurances from both her sister and her parents, Emma says the thing she’s most nervous about is making new friends.

But she is looking forward to getting into the classroom, to start taking the bus by herself and generally being more independent.

“I’m looking forward to having more responsibility,” Emma said.

Unlike some of her peers, she’s measured when it comes to the prospect of homework.

“It’s going to be very different to primary school, but I’m still really excited,” she said.

The tween is part of the Select Entry Academic Learning program at the school, which offers 24 academically talented students the opportunity to work at a faster pace. She says she is eager to dive into her favourite subjects of maths and writing.

“It means I’m learning accelerated stuff, and learning things different to the normal curriculum,” she said.

For dad Adam Wilkie, knowing his eldest daughter, 14-year-old Mia, was already at the school and having previously helped her through this stage, helps him know what to expect with Emma.

“It is a big step into high school … and of course its emotional because you’re seeing them enter that different phase of life, they’re getting older and more mature,” he said.

Wilkie said it was hard to see them go into a larger environment, but it was important for parents to trust they had their children’s best interests at heart.

This year also marks the state government’s roll out of its new online resources aimed at helping parents to support their children through the transition from primary to secondary school.

About 83,000 Victorian students are expected to start secondary school in 2026.

University of Melbourne experts Sophie Havighurst and Dr Christiane Kehoe developed videos for families about using emotion coaching to support adolescents as part of the government’s Easing into adolescence: resources for families series.

In one video called Tuning into Teens, Havighurst says emotion coaching explains what is “lying underneath” challenging behaviours and reactions teens are experiencing.

“Often there are all sorts of more vulnerable emotions, like maybe worry or feeling left out, or feeling like things are unfair. But instead, what comes out is yelling and angry frustrated behaviours,” she explains.

“What we want to be able to do is try and work out what is lying underneath the surface.”

The goal is to communicate in a way that builds skills and relationships between parents and young people.

Kehoe said parents need to be there when children are ready to talk, but at other times it is important to let them work out things for themselves.

It is also important for parents to consider their own emotions before talking to adolescents, particularly when there were problems that came up repeatedly, they said.

“For example, if they’re refusing to go to school every day or if you’re trying to get them off their devices, which is often something that we’re dealing with every day. So for these really often occurring problems, it’s really important to have emotion coaching conversations ahead of time when you and your adolescents are calm.”

Education Minister Ben Carroll said the step into high school was key for students and their families.

“A student’s transition to secondary school can have long-lasting impacts on their achievement, engagement and wellbeing. That’s why we’re providing free resources for families as their children take this big step,” he said.

“We want to make sure every student and their family feels supported and connected as they journey from primary school to secondary school, which can be both a daunting and exciting time.”

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