Joanna Lumley: My son was born from an affair. His father and I have remained close

Joanna Lumley is best known for playing Patsy Stone in the TV series and movie adaptations of Absolutely Fabulous. In discussing the important men in her life, the 79-year-old talks about her experiences with men while working as a model in the ’60s, her ties to both King Charles and Barry Humphries, and her secret to a lasting marriage.

Joanna Lumley, at last month’s London Fashion Week: “[In the ’60s], men treated us pretty flippantly – particularly if you were pretty, you were treated as kind of worthless.”Credit: Getty Images

My father, James, was born in Lahore, which is now in Pakistan. He trained to be a soldier in Sandhurst, England, but returned to India and joined a Gurkha regiment, which was the Indian army. He was a great dreamer, immensely philosophical, and a great reader and historian. He was fabulously funny and the best company you could ever find. He told me never to give up when things get hard, which I’ve tried to do.

I was 11 when I went to St Mary’s Anglican Convent boarding school. Our nuns were wonderful, but they became cross if you met boys from the town. The boys would come up to the boundaries of the school and teach us to shoot air guns. We were very young in those days, very innocent.

My first celebrity crush was Dirk Bogarde. I saw him in [the 1956 film] The Spanish Gardener and thought he was unbelievably beautiful. Much later, when I started to write for newspapers, I interviewed him and we became friends. I used to take him pots of my mother Beatrice’s marmalade. He was an extraordinary man and a brilliant screen actor, very delicate and nuanced.

Back when I was a model in the swinging ’60s in London, girls were called “dolly birds”. Men treated us pretty flippantly – particularly if you were pretty, you were treated as kind of worthless. But I’ve always loved people who wolf-whistle. I love builders who do it when you go past: I think it’s a compliment. I love it when men offer me a seat. I’m old now, so it’s mostly young women who do it. But it’s not insulting to women; it’s being courteous.

Loading

Doctors told me I would never have babies, but at 21, I had my son, Jamie. His father, photographer Michael Claydon, and I didn’t marry. We had an affair, so I thought there was no point in marrying, just for decency’s sake. But we stayed in the closest contact throughout Jamie’s upbringing and have always been close.

I knew Barry Humphries for years before he played one of Patsy’s old paramours in the [2016 movie] Absolutely Fabulous. We were filming in the south of France, and on a day off, we went to a book fair. He hunted for things on the Weimar Republic, written in French. He had a collection of first edition books that was second to none. We all adored him.

Barry knew so much about art and music. I still take Barry [who died in 2023] with me on my travels. I’ve got all the tunes that he chose from the 1930s and play them when I get up in the morning. Sometimes when I’m up really, really early and put on make-up by candlelight in some faraway land, I have Barry’s music playing.

I went to King Charles’ coronation. I like him a great deal. He was the most extraordinary Prince of Wales, and has turned into one of the best kings we’ll ever have. He was in his 20s when he set up the Prince’s Trust [now called the King’s Trust], which he initiated to catch people who had fallen through the gratings. He used his severance pay from the Navy for that. It’s incredible that he was thinking of that back then.

Lumley (left) describes King Charles as “the most extraordinary Prince of Wales, and … one of the best kings we’ll ever have”.Credit: AP

King Charles has always loved the fine arts and farming, but proper basic farming – he hates mechanised things. He loves craftsmen, people who can carve things, make walls from stone. He’s been ahead of the game for a long time. He is fascinating.

My husband, conductor Stephen Barlow, is eight years younger than me. I’ve always loved music, all kinds, but classical has been my mainstay. To marry someone who is so steeped in it and knows and understands it is just magic. Stephen also loves cooking. He is my best friend and that’s important. If you are going to be with somebody for a long time, you have to like them. You can’t just fancy them or be in love with them, it’s got to endure.

My Book of Treasures (Hachette) by Joanna Lumley is out now.

Most Viewed in Lifestyle

Loading