3 months ago
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Barry “Bear” Myrden is an engineer but he’s currently best known as the star of The Golden Bachelor. Here, the 61-year-old talks about love and loss, especially of his mother and wife, Audrey, and how he’s spent the past 15 years solo-parenting his three sons.
The Golden Bachelor’s “Bear” Myrden has experienced the pain of loss.
My paternal grandmother, Lillian, and I didn’t always see eye to eye. She was lovely, but a bit “old” for my formative years. She had 11 kids and many grandkids and great-grandkids and was always quite busy. When I was 10, we moved into her house. My dad built a granny flat so she could move in there for a while.
My maternal grandmother, Dorothy, was very close to my mother, who was the eldest of her 12 children. She loved to cook and make clothes. She also made me a quilt, which I still have.
My mum, Patricia, had four sons. My older brothers Tim and Steve, then me, then a six-year
age gap when Mike came along. Mum and Dad were hoping for a daughter, but it never happened.
Mum was very caring and giving throughout her life. She worked as a secretary of the junior high school I attended. Later, she became the secretary of my senior school. We all joked that she was there just to look after me and make sure I was staying out of trouble.
My mum’s youngest sister, Sheila, was only six years older than me. We were very close to her growing up, and my aunt Pauline was a ski instructor who we loved to follow around, too. She was very active. I loved to ski, too.
Myrden prepares to present a rose in The Golden Bachelor’s first rose ceremony.
I went on a first date with a local girl who went to the all-girls school nearby. She was as nervous as I was. We were about 15.
My celebrity crush was Pamela Anderson in Baywatch; it was hard not to notice her, she was beautiful.
I had a few girlfriends before I met my wife, Audrey, but nothing that had a huge impact on me. Audrey was from the east coast of Canada, and we both found ourselves in Calgary. We met at a nightclub and just clicked.
We went on a holiday to Australia in the late ’90s; we relocated for a year and loved it. After we went back to Calgary, I woke one morning to minus 40 degrees, my car wouldn’t start, and I said to Audrey, “I’m done with this – let’s move to Australia.” And we did.
I went into survival mode. I had the boys to look after; their welfare meant everything to me.
Audrey came from a large family like me, except she was the baby of hers. I never met her mother as she passed before we started dating. I did meet her father, sisters and brothers. Our three sons [Charlie, 22, Jack, 21, and Declan, 18] have picked up a lot of Audrey’s traits and a bit of her stubbornness as well.
My mum’s cancer came on quite quickly. She passed in 2011. In hindsight, I think my dad and brothers were sheltering it from me as I was going through my own problems, as Audrey had terminal brain cancer. She ended up dying six months after Mum.
I went back home for Mum’s funeral only to come back and deal with the death of my wife. It was a lot to process. I went into survival mode. I had the boys to look after; their welfare meant everything to me. From school drop-offs to daycare, paying bills and going through the motions, life was a blur for a very long time. It was only about a year ago that I finally lifted my head and realised nearly 15 years had gone by.
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I did have a few different girlfriends over the past 14 years, but in fairness to them, I wasn’t quite ready. It was always a rebound relationship. I found it hard to date after Audrey.
I was single when I decided to join The Golden Bachelor. I kept telling my boys to take risks and jump at opportunities in life, and when this presented itself, I thought I’d have to take my own advice.
You are never too old to find love or put yourself out there. Don’t categorise yourself into age or think you’ve had your time, it’s never too late. Follow your heart. I’m confident and happy with my decision.
The Golden Bachelor is screening on Channel 9. Nine is owner of this masthead.
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