‘I don’t date often’: Calum Hood on the reality of being a boy band member

Calum Hood is a musician best known for being a member of boy band 5 Seconds of Summer. Here, the 29-year-old talks about learning to sing and harmonise with his sister, his first celebrity crush and why he is intentional about who he dates.

The former boy band member says he turned to his mum and sister for advice when first joining 5 Seconds of Summer.

My maternal grandmother, Maggie, is someone I still talk to even though she isn’t alive. If I am going through a tough time, I call upon her to guide me. She was the Maori family matriarch and would visit us in Australia. As she got older, she couldn’t stand up in our bath to shower, so my sister Mali and I would shower her outside with a hose.

She died in her early 80s, when I was seven. I didn’t understand the concept of death until I got older. I grieved her a lot because I understood what that loss meant for my mum.

I didn’t know my Scottish paternal grandmother, Janet, that well. I have photos of visiting her when I was five. She was there when I saw snow for the first time, a gentle and warm person.

My mum, Joy, is Maori, and one of 10 children. The matriarchal presence is heavy in the family dynamics of their culture and women are generally the leaders. She met Dad in a Sydney pub; they’ve been together ever since.

Mum taught me how to be powerful in terms of how I lead myself. I find a lot of currency in kindness and gentleness because of her. She is a hard worker, and I saw early on that I needed to replicate that if I wanted to fulfil my insane idea of being a musician. She worked in superannuation and is now an aqua-aerobics instructor.

Mum was always headstrong and stubborn. She loves to laugh and talk. She has more friends than I do! She hosts parties every New Year’s Eve, and makes her own candles and lampshades. My sister and I get our creative side from her.

I was always shy and didn’t hang around girls often. I’ve come to understand girls more now through my music.

Mali lives in London. She’s a singer-songwriter who’s always been involved in music and taught me how to sing and harmonise. She is five years older, was the popular girl in school and inspired me to chase my music career.

When I joined 5 Seconds of Summer, I turned to my mum and sister for advice. My sister has always been a big help, emotionally and mentally. Seeing her do her own thing has been important in helping me on my journey. She always checks in on me and asks if I am OK.

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I met my best friend, Shica, when I moved to LA at 18. She loves to laugh, and I forget about everything else when I’m with her. We can talk on the phone for hours. We met through mutual friends at a bar. She is a mentor and works with underprivileged kids.

My first crush was actress Thandie Newton. She is beautiful.

My first kiss happened on the tennis courts at school at 14. I was always shy and didn’t hang around girls often. I’ve come to understand girls more now through my music – especially because many of them are fans of our band. Women turn up and devote so much energy to something they really love.

I was in a relationship for three-and-a-half years until I was 28. I like a partner I can be really creative with, someone who can challenge the way I think and operate. I’m definitely drawn to someone who is gentle, caring and nurturing. I am not in a relationship now.

My new album is about my most recent break-up. Music is a creative outlet that helps me work through the personal and figure myself out.

I don’t date too often. I am pretty intentional about the time I spend by myself. I look for a friend, someone I can laugh with. Whenever I go into relationships, a lot of it is about discovering the complexities of the person. I like uncovering who someone is, and feeling comfortable enough to do that leads to a relationship.

Marriage and kids are something I’d do one day. With the right person, for sure.

Calum Hood’s solo album, Order, Chaos, Order, is out now.

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