How does it make me feel? The question every houseplant owner should be asking

Human beings have an undeniable connection to life, particularly to the other life forms that share our planet. It is something we may not be aware of, but we are at peace when surrounded by nature. It was easier to nurture this connection before we walled ourselves off inside big cities and lost our easy access to plants and animals. Having indoor plants helps bring back that connectivity, satisfying our basic core need to connect with other living things. We experience a calmness and sense of wellbeing when we are in the presence of plants.

Nora Mutalima: “There is nothing like getting validation from a plant that is growing well and thriving in your care.”

In this fast-paced world, caring for indoor plants is an easy way of stilling our overstimulated minds, allowing us to look beyond ourselves and appreciate that we are part of something bigger.

People have always loved having plants in their homes, but the pandemic brought with it an increased appreciation, with many jumping onto the bandwagon. The number of plants I accumulated during this time certainly exploded. We all had too much time on our hands and were incredibly stressed out.

Without realising, I was drawn towards bringing more life into my home. I also craved the sense of accomplishment that comes from caring for someone or something wholeheartedly, without expecting anything in return. It’s very similar to the love parents have for their children.

From the time my children were born – and before, really – I was bound to them. The unadulterated joy, achievement and accomplishment I feel as I help them navigate through life is very similar to the joy I feel when my plants are thriving.

Obviously, the scale of importance of children versus plants is incomparable; however, I think the principles are the same. The level of “inner mental quiet” I attain when I am actively caring for my plants, whether I’m watering or repotting them, allows me to stop organising the lists in my head of the million things I have to do in my day-to-day life. It allows me to stop thinking about my job or anything else, and just be present, in the moment, to marvel at the living thing I’m keeping alive. It is a form of meditation for me.

When I started accumulating plants, my youngest daughter was about three years old and my older children were eight and 10. At those ages, they were still very demanding. What I realised, though, is that while I was doing my plant chores, there was very little “mummy this” or “mummy that”. It was as if they realised it was my time, allowing me to unwind, become calmer and be the mother they needed.

Most of the time, we choose plants based on the look we want, but it should also be about how the plant makes us feel.

No room decor is complete without the addition of plants, real or otherwise. Greenery of any kind helps complete the look and makes a space feel more alive. But real plants bring something extra. Understanding the connection we have with them helps explain why it just feels better to walk into a room filled with real plants, compared to the flat feeling you get from fake ones, whether they are plastic, cloth or some other material. A real plant doesn’t just look good, it changes the energy, and gives a room a different feel.

Nature gives us so much variety. Most of the time, we choose plants based on the look we want, but it should also be about how the plant makes us feel. I have hundreds of plants in my home, probably a few hundred too many, but some of them really stand out.

My feature plants make me feel something when I look at them. That is what really enhances a home – that personal connection. So when you are picking plants for your space, don’t just think about how they look, think about how they make you feel.

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There are so many ways to personalise a space using plants. The type you choose, the area you place it in and even the pot it lives in all help make a home feel like your own. You might go for a fiddle-leaf fig (Ficus lyrata) with its tall structure and large, violin-shaped leaves that demand attention, or a Swiss cheese plant (Monstera deliciosa), which I like to call the houseplant mascot. Its big holey leaves give off a jungle vibe and speak to people, even those who aren’t plant lovers. Some plants, like a bird of paradise (Strelitzia), bring drama to high ceilings while trailing plants can soften a staircase or shelf.

The happiness plant lovers get when a plant is growing like it should is heavenly. I cannot describe the joy I feel when one of my hoya plants flowers for the first time. Or when a plant on a moss pole finally develops leaves with holes and splits [a sign of maturity and good care]. It is glorious.

There is nothing like getting validation from a plant that is growing well and thriving in your care. Happiness and accomplishment go hand in hand with reducing stress and anxiety. The one advantage of using this easily accessible “plant therapy” is that you get to have an amazing-looking home, too.

Edited extract from Plant Parenting for Busy People (Simon & Schuster) by Dr Nora Mutalima is out now.

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