Dinesh ‘spiralled’ in law school. Then he had a revelation

Each week, Benjamin Law asks public figures to discuss the subjects we’re told to keep private by getting them to roll a die. The numbers they land on are the topics they’re given. This week, he talks to Dinesh Palipana. The doctor, lawyer, disability advocate and spinal-cord injury researcher, 41, was Queensland’s first graduate doctor with quadriplegia. He was awarded an Order of Australia Medal in 2019. His memoir is Stronger.

SEX

You were in a car accident in 2010 when you were 25, which made you a quadriplegic. Did you freak out about sex after the accident? Obviously, sex was something I was very interested in before the incident. But, afterwards, you’re just trying to come to terms with not walking, not being able to use your hands and using a wheelchair. But I did have a girlfriend around that time and it was difficult in lots of ways.

How so? There was one key moment when I went to my friend’s wedding. I was still in hospital, so they put me in a suit, then my mum, my girlfriend and my grandma took me out onto this boat and then onto this island. My girlfriend had to take my wheelchair onto the beach …

Man, what a hassle. Yeah! But it was also beautiful. And when everyone was dancing, my girlfriend and I were on the sidelines. There was this look on her face, just watching the other couples dancing, and I think it just hit us both.

That’s pretty heartbreaking. [Nods] Really devastating. But we were always honest with each other. She said, “It’s hard, but give me some time and I’ll be OK.” I didn’t really date anyone for about 10 years after that.

Was that more about you processing things or because of assumptions potential romantic partners had? It was more of a me problem. Actually, most people don’t seem to care, which is a beautiful thing! And maybe I just stopped chasing booty and focused on rebuilding my life! [Laughs]

MONEY

Growing up, did you always know what you wanted to do for work? I was interested in a lot of things – flying, IT – but I don’t think I found my passion until much later. When I graduated from high school, all I wanted was to make a lot of money and have nice things. That’s partly why I studied law.

Wow, so you have a law degree … Yeah.

… and now work in medicine. That’s an Asian parent’s dream. [Laughs] Yeah! But I spiralled when I was in law school. I had depression.

Oh, no! What happened? I actually think it was because I was so materialistic. I was in a really, really dark place, but then realised that spending a life pursuing money rarely brings happiness. So I became a doctor because I actually want to help people.

What have you learnt about the cost of disability? There’ve been two times in our lives – mine and my mother’s – where we’ve had to start anew. First, as a migrant family. Then after the accident. We had to sell the house because disability equipment’s expensive. Suddenly, all these costs went up and Mum had to leave work to help me. For the longest time, we didn’t have a stable place to live. But I think I felt the most free when I went back to medical school [after the accident], working my butt off to become a doctor. There was nothing: all I did was study. I often quote this [Japanese] poem which roughly translates to: “My barn’s burnt down/Now I can see the moon.”

POLITICS

Tell me about the politics of language around disability. It’s really interesting. When I interact with some people in Sri Lanka, they always correct me on using the word “disability”. They’re like, “What about a different label?” Then, when I was in Saudi – or maybe it was Dubai – I saw a disabled toilet signposted as “For people of determination”. [Laughs]

Well, you are a determined person …I know, right? People have different preferences. My personal approach is to look at people’s intent. If someone with good intent has used the wrong word, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Is this person trying to be kind? Is this person trying to be thoughtful? Is this person trying to help? All those things are qualities that we need more of in this world. So, yes, we can have conversations about language but, in other parts of the world, people with an injury like mine die.

You’ve been involved in politics for a while, right? Yeah. And I don’t want to disparage anyone …

Oh, please, go for it. … but we have career politicians now. In a country like Australia, we need politicians who aren’t politicians: people who are brave enough to take the hard decisions rather than the decisions that will keep them in power and who are brave enough not just to preserve what Australia has been but to build what it might be in the future.

In 2023, you ran for Liberal Party preselection. You’ve reflected on how Australia’s diversity isn’t always reflected in parliament. Did missing out feel like a missed opportunity? A lot of people said to me, “I thought you were more of a Labor or Greens guy …” And I was like, “Well, actually, right now, we don’t have an opposition that’s effective.” And we don’t want to make echo chambers, right? So it’s not so much about politics, parties or labels, but trying to have many perspectives in places where there aren’t right now. I think the Liberal Party can offer one of those perspectives.

What are the big issues for you? Social cohesion. And, naturally, healthcare.

Can you be friends with someone who doesn’t share your politics? Absolutely. I have friends in every party. Labor, Greens, even One Nation. It’s super-important that we have conversations with people who don’t share the same views as us.