4 hours ago
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Q: I just started a wonderful new job, but there’s just me and my boss in the office. He talks a lot about himself and I feel obliged to stop everything and listen. We don’t seem to get a lot of work done. Can you suggest anything to help? A.B., Moorabbin East, Vic
A: Maybe you didn’t read the job description properly when you applied for the position: it may have said something like, “This role will suit a keen listener who thrives in an intimate workplace and enjoys being constantly interrupted with stories about their boss’s Vietnam holiday, spoilers for all the latest streaming shows he’s watched, and an unnecessarily graphic description of a gastric reflux flare-up after ordering a Mexican ‘Inferno’ pizza with extra habanero-chilli jam.
“Applicants must demonstrate the ability to feign interest for extended periods, nod now and then to show they’re awake, and utter sounds like ‘Ohhh’ and ‘Hmmm’ and ‘Wow, stomach acid came out of your nose?’ ”
But I can feel your frustration. You’ve got a wonderful job, so you don’t want to quit; you’re a hard worker, so you don’t want to slack off; and this guy is your boss, so you can’t tell him to shut his face when he starts blabbing about his kids, his wife, his dog (“Here are 45,000 photos of Barney on his dog bed: scroll away!“)
What about headphones? They’re very useful when trying to avoid conversations at work, at home, at parties, on dates. Just tell your boss you’re more productive when you listen to music, then pop on the headphones when you see him coming, play nothing and get on with your job. Hopefully, he’ll stop bothering you and you’ll finish each day with a sense of great personal achievement, a head of flat headphone-hair and a pair of very clammy ears.
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