This cooking competition − and its judge, Martha Stewart − is ‘horrifically mesmerising’

Difficult people are the lifeblood of reality television. Reality shows that showcase the better angels of our natures are the exception in a genre built upon the endless fascination that audiences have for watching other people be incredibly obnoxious and treat other human beings like dirt.

The only difference between the horrifically mesmerising Yes, Chef, in which a group of terrible people are gathered together and ordered to cook under pressure, and a show like My Kitchen Rules, in which a group of terrible people are gathered together and ordered to cook under pressure, is that the former is more honest about its casting priorities.

Right from the outset, Yes, Chef sets out its stall: this is a competition in which chefs, dobbed in as unbearable horrors by their nearest and dearest, compete against each to see who’s the best cook and/or the worst person.

It’s still not completely honest: we’re expected to swallow the line that the competition aims to make these chefs better people, when its real purpose is to entertain us with how awful they all are, and reward whoever is best able to beat the others into submission. Not literally, of course. Although you never know.

Hosts Jose Andres and Martha Stewart.Pief Weyman/NBC

The show is hosted by two culinary legends: Jose Andres, who is apparently famous in the way that those guest judges who MasterChef contestants pretend to be impressed by are famous, and Martha Stewart, who is genuinely famous and genuinely terrifying.

Stewart is 84, and one could say that she looks terrific for her age, but that’s not quite accurate. It’s not so much that she looks good as that she looks like she has made a bargain with an all-powerful demon to live forever, and anyone who knows Stewart’s past will find that entirely plausible.

It’s fairly hilarious that Stewart has taken the job of judging others in a show about difficult people. Not that Stewart is putting any great effort into the task: while her co-host Andres brings a certain amount of cheerful enthusiasm and encouragement to his dealing with the contestants, Stewart really struggles to make it seem like she could possibly care less about any of this. Or maybe it’s just that her facial muscles can’t move.

In format, Yes, Chef is pretty much your standard cooking contest – Top Chef with a lower budget. In fact, some of the contestants have been on other shows such as Top Chef or Hell’s Kitchen, on which they have already demonstrated how qualified they are for this show.

But here, the winners get to decide who gets eliminated, and this is not exactly calculated to bring out people’s best side. What we get is fighting, backbiting and betrayal and no attempt at personal growth. For all that Stewart and Andres like to talk about how important it is to control your temper, to learn to work with others, and to become a better, more balanced person, it quickly becomes apparent that the chef who uses their talents for evil will rise to the top.

Contestants on “Yes, Chef”, including Katsuji Tanabe (arms folded, centre front).Pief Weyman/NBC

The alpha jerk in the kitchen is Katsuji Tanabe, a restaurateur who seems intent from day one on making his competitors plot his murder. But he has strong competition in “Chef T”, the extremely loud Hell’s Kitchen alum who has made it her life’s mission to yell angrily at every single person on Earth, and Michelle Francis, who just hates everything and everyone. It all makes for big laughs every time the show tries to make us care about the food.

Yes, Chef is best viewed as a comedy, especially because the only other way to view it is as a harrowing look into the darkest heart of humanity. But there are moments of sadness, nevertheless, because while the flaws of most of the cast are in arrogance, rudeness, abusiveness and insensitivity, for some the issue is insecurity and crippling self-doubt. For these poor souls, it feels cruel to lure them, with the promise of a $250,000 prize, into an environment where they are pretty much guaranteed to be bullied to tears by the douchebags surrounding them.

But even for them, there is a valuable lesson to be learnt here: to make it in this business, you’ve got to be a complete nightmare. The minute they walked in and saw Martha Stewart should’ve been enough to hammer that home.