Thirty-one countries, 150 nights: A world cruise is my dream holiday

A while ago, I was sailing into Cape Town on Regent Seven Seas’ Splendor. An ocean approach is the most splendid way to arrive in this city. The bay is generous, Table Mountain dramatic. Cloud rolls across its summit, curled like breakers on a beach.

It struck me that for much of its history, this is how most travellers first encountered Cape Town: from the ocean, with the same splendid view, salty breeze and indignantly screeching gulls.

Voyagers of the past would, however, have had their pleasure tempered by the rolling deck, alarming snap of sails, and stench that arose from the bilges.

None of that on this ship. It glides rather than lurches. It smells of fresh orchids, furniture polish and the cafe’s ground Illy coffee. Bright colours, interesting artworks and chandeliers that make you feel like Cinderella abound.

It was at that moment when I began to dream about a world cruise. Surely, that must be one of the ultimates in travel, up there with summiting Everest or reaching the North Pole. One big difference: nobody needs to be an endurance athlete to manage a world cruise.

Imagine a bucket-list tour of the globe, all without any bother over trains, planes and travel’s organisational pains. As a sweet bonus, you get several months liberated from shopping, cooking and desultory daily chores.

On these ships, someone is always there with a warm folded towel, a cocktail or a pillow menu. Steaks are done and martinis shaken – just as you like them.

Of course, you’d need your own space for downtime on a lengthy cruise. A stateroom large enough to make for a pleasant retreat. A sofa for book reading, a balcony big enough to sit out on and admire the view of another port sliding towards you, and to watch the harbour pilot arrive.

I know Seven Seas Mariner has staterooms to suit, and I discover it’s making a world cruise in 2029. The first time I saw this 700-guest cruise ship, docked in Auckland, it was immaculately sleek and glamorous, yet the crew were daubing at minute blemishes on its hull with white paint. Yes, this ship would do nicely for any world cruise.

Regent’s 2029 world cruise visits 31 countries and 70 ports over 150 nights. Cape Town isn’t one of them, but my sail there had me thinking of other great cruise arrivals I’d love to relive. Some places are spectacularly better on the water approach, encumbered by highways, petrol stations and dreary suburbia.

Rio de Janeiro is all humped mountains and sand-fringed bays, over which the statue of Christ looms with arms spread like a tour guide urging you to admire its wonders. Hang-gliders launched from Pedra Bonita swoop like exotic dragonflies. If you’ve never sailed into Rio, put it on your to-do list.

The temptation of a world cruise, however, isn’t only seeing the famous places, but destinations you’d probably never think to visit, and which prove pleasant surprises.

Would I ever make the effort to visit Montevideo in Uruguay or Pago Pago in American Samoa? Probably not. But cruise ships took me to both places, and I was rewarded with very satisfying days in port.

Talking of Pago Pago, another advantage of cruising comes into its own in the South Pacific. Getting around the Pacific’s far-flung islands is quite the hassle thanks to indirect air links and ungodly flight departure times.

On Seven Seas Mariner? I’d sail out of one island to the clink of ice in cocktails and the lurid drama of a tropical sunset. I’d tuck into lobster bisque with Armagnac, followed by beef tenderloin Rossini with seared foie gras in possibly the best French restaurant at sea, Chartreuse. Then, the next morning, I’d be sailing into another island.

And what islands they are. French Polynesia alone is a constellation of glorious choices. Moorea, Huahine and Bora Bora are symphonies of jagged green mountains. And while Rangiroa is flat, its lagoon is a palette of turquoise wonder filled with reefs swarming with kaleidoscopic fish.

In another of the world’s most beautiful places, Aitutaki in the Cook Islands, plump white-sand beaches edge peacock waters, and palm trees sway like Pacific dancers in grass skirts. I visited Aitutaki once on a cruise ship and thought to myself: I could stay here forever, sand between my toes, wafted by tropical breezes, eating crabs and coconuts.

But the thing about cruising is that, while you leave places with lingering regret, there’s always another excitement on the horizon. Who can resist Fiji or Komodo? Or cities such as Mumbai and Jeddah? Yet, I love the thought of visiting places I haven’t even heard of, too. Punta del Este, Luganville, Hambantota, Salalah.

If a world cruise is the ultimate indulgence, then surely you might as well dream of doing it in style. I’ve been on three Regent Seven Seas ships, and they don’t only supply suave service, but terrific dining, too.

Compass Rose is consistently the best main dining restaurant afloat, with ever-changing dishes elegantly presented. Black mussels in white wine. Veal piccata flavoured with lemon and capers. Kahlua coffee souffle with caramel sauce.

Elsewhere, there are lobsters galore, pasta with clams in creamy champagne sauce in the Italian restaurant, a superior burger with gorgonzola at the Pool Grill. You can have foie gras whenever you like. Well, perhaps not for breakfast, but if you ask I wouldn’t be surprised if someone makes it happen.

Never mind the kilojoules. Shore excursions are included on world cruises, so you can kayak, hike up a volcano or wear your shoe soles out on city sightseeing.

Some people think cruising is all about overcrowded port cities. The cities are great, but the extravagance of a world itinerary allows for many intriguing in-between bits. Whose travel juices aren’t stirred by the thought of sailing up the Amazon, for example?

Fortunately, you can leave your machete at home and enjoy the steamy rainforest from an air-conditioned lounge while nibbling on canapes. Mariner’s Observation Lounge was brilliant in scenic New Zealand, and I imagine just as brilliant in the Amazon, where toucans fly and pink dolphins leap.

Sometimes in the Observation Lounge I felt as if I was on the flight deck of Starship Enterprise – especially in the evenings, when the lights of passing settlements looked like constellations of stars. Only at sea do you get this feeling of the world’s immensity.

The itinerary of the Regent 2029 World Cruise loops around South America’s ballet-flexed toe. Patagonia is another of those remote and difficult landscapes hard to visit by land, and best viewed from the sea thanks to its splendidly indented and glacier-nibbled coastline.

Patagonia is all the more wonderful because it’s book-ended by two colourful, gritty, arty cities – Buenos Aires in Argentina and Valparaiso in Chile. In both, cruise ships dock in rusty working harbours that belie the fabulous architecture, passions for soccer and beef, outrageous jacaranda trees and immigrant energy of these cities.

Who doesn’t want to experience that? And transit the Suez Canal? Or sail into Aqaba in Jordan and set off into the desert to see ancient archaeological site Petra, whose gaping tombs and temples are marbled in colour?

Who doesn’t want to swim with manta rays in the lagoon at Moorea, see the fabulous gold museum in Lima, sail into Athens, visit Pitcairn Island and the Falkland Islands?

I just smile politely when doubters tell me cruising is boring. One day, I hope my dream comes true. I’ll be off on a world cruise, and they’ll be left doubting at home.

THE DETAILS

Cruise
Regent Seven Seas Cruises’ 2029 World Cruise on the recently refurbished Seven Seas Mariner sails for 150 nights between Miami and Civitavecchia (Rome) and departs January 6, 2029. From $142,860 a person, twin-share, in a Deluxe Verandah Suite, including shore excursions, food and beverages, unlimited laundry and Wi-Fi. See rssc.com

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Brian Johnston travelled as a guest of Regent Seven Seas Cruises.