4 weeks ago
11
February 1, 2026 — 9:00pm
Against-ers take note: “I think you should give a warning to the good people of Allambie Heights to leave now,” warns Andrew Mowat of Beecroft. “Mary Billing’s forthright refusal to hand over the Wimbledon Swimming Club medal (C8) is likely to incite Trump to invade, or at the very least threaten to position an armada offshore. I’m off to my bunker now. Good luck.”
“I’m actually touched by all the C8-ers willing to send their personal awards to POTUS, and am moved to send my Best Forward trophy from the Wagga Wagga Magpies rugby league team circa 1965,” says Ian Carmody of Broulee. “The statuette’s head is missing but I’m sure he’d still be touched, humbled even. Fellow readers can send their trophies to: The White House, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC 20500. Just imagine if people from all around the world did the same – that would be a truly noble sight to see.”
“Apparently the documentary Melania (C8) is so bad that one reviewer said he would walk out on it even if he was watching it on a plane,” notes John Bailey of Canterbury.
Jane Montague of Lane Cove has witnessed “people out in the heat wearing insulated shoes, dragging their long-suffering dogs for a walk. Please take off your shoes and socks and walk on the footpath. If it’s too hot for you then so it is for your dog!”
Further to Ann Clydsdale’s dung discussion (C8), Heather Harman of Tuncurry recently “saw ‘local manure’ advertised on a farmer’s fence. Does this mean that some manure is imported?”
Ellen Kassel’s Column 8 catalogue for the uninitiated abroad (C8) continues to garner feedback. Here’s the next batch: “Where Herald readers gather to share peculiar phenomena, weird words, ludicrous fiascos – and explore the deepest mysteries of the cosmos” – Don Bain of Port Macquarie; “Collects the comical, the trivial, the historically unimportant and the whimsical as an antidote to the solemn, the serious and the simply distressing daily news” – Bruce Graham of Waitara; and “A write-in column that encourages and tolerates droll, quippish, waggish comment and gives everyone a fair go” – Ian Nicholls of Baulkham Hills.
Ian asked the same of ChatGPT: “A quirky, witty column of short, humorous observations, reader anecdotes and oddities about everyday Australian life.” Thus proving that C8-ers have it all over The Beast when it comes to whimsy.
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