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The 50-something musician, teacher, writer and broadcaster is a presenter on ABC Classic. He has played the viola professionally in the UK and Hong Kong, and is the author of five books.
Each week, Benjamin Law asks public figures to discuss the subjects we’re told to keep private by getting them to roll a die for Good Weekend’s regular Dicey Topics column. The numbers they land on are the topics they’re given. This week, he talks to Ed Le Brocq. The 50-something musician, teacher, writer and broadcaster is a presenter on ABC Classic. He has played the viola professionally in the UK and Hong Kong, and is the author of five books.
DEATH
We’ve landed on death. [Beams] Oh, great!
[Laughs] Why “Oh, great!” ? Well, it’s reality, isn’t it? It’s important to realise that there’s a limit, there’s an end. We don’t have endless time to do the things we put off. It’s invigorating to go, “OK, I’ve got however many days left! What am I going to do with this one?”
You taught music in Afghanistan in the mid-2010s. Did you feel the life-or-death stakes, working there? Some of the young women at the music school in Kabul were taken away from the school by their family. Their music was being killed inside them. It was absolutely devastating.
Have you had any near-death experiences yourself? There’ve been a few close calls. A couple of suicide bombers were caught next door to the school where I was working; Westerners were kidnapped. My mother thought it was foolhardy for me to go to Afghanistan but, for me, it seemed utterly sensible.
Sounds like you thought it was foolhardy not to go. That’s right. It’s like transitioning. The thing about being transgender is that – at some point – you realise you are transgender, and it’s your decision whether you do anything about it. Transition, in a way, is like a death, but it’s also a rebirth.
What music requests have you got for your funeral? There’s a Beethoven string quartet from the latter part of his life – Opus 132 – which is a song of thanks to God. There’s a slow movement in it which is absolutely sublime. And I’m a big fan of a brass band. So a Sousa march perhaps; something ridiculously happy.
SEX
If you could go into a time machine and visit a younger version of yourself to talk about sex and gender, what would you say to younger Ed? I’d probably go to Ed – aged 17 – and say, “Stick to your guns about saying who you want to have sex with.” In the late ’70s, somebody who I used to play [the viola] with – who was quite a lot older than me – propositioned me. This is when I was female-bodied. Thank god I said no. So I’d tell my younger self to follow his gut instincts: don’t sell yourself short. Respect your body.
When you transitioned and affirmed yourself as male in 2016, did the process affect your sexuality? Yes. Having that blast of testosterone, you feel your libido rising up. I spent 50 years having a perhaps slightly calmer libido, but now there was a ridiculous energy you felt you couldn’t outrun and a crazy hunger that was never sated. That rise in libido is a little bit alarming, actually; I feel for teenage boys!
You married your wife, Carol – whose nickname is Charlie – in 2022. What attracted you to her? Her spirit. Charlie spent six years studying Buddhism and meditation in Indonesia in the ’80s, so she’s a very calm, very wise person. I find that just the most attractive attribute. She has this amazing compassion and kindness, and I feel the warmth of Charlie pulling towards me. And she’s got very, very beautiful eyes.
When do you feel your sexiest? When I’m looking at my wife.
When do you feel at your least sexy? When I’m getting up early in the morning to do my radio show and I’ve got my crappy clothes on. It’s radio: you don’t need to dress up!
What are the ingredients for good sex? Patience. Lack of ego. Awareness. And a bit of audacity as well.
BODIES
In those early phases of transition, what changes made you anxious and what delighted you? I found all the changes really exciting. Getting rid of my breasts, I just couldn’t have been happier. The thrill of having a male chest is something that I’d always dreamt about and, nowadays, you just can’t see my scars at all because they fall just below my pec muscle. I’m glad that my voice has dropped somewhat and about having a little bit of facial hair.
How are you feeling in your body nowadays, generally? I love my body, I really do.
What are you loving about it? I’m going to the gym, doing squats, deadlifts, bench presses. We need to grow muscle, especially as we age.
You were painted for the Archibald Prize as a naked centaur [by Jaq Grantford]. Why? Charlie is a wonderful astrologer, and she talks a lot about Chiron, a centaur whose tears are healing. Apparently, Chiron is quite strong in my chart, so Charlie calls me her centaur. There’s also that feeling of having a mythical body almost. You don’t see transgender bodies every day, but they’re really beautiful. It really is wonderful to be celebrated.
What is a skill you’re grateful for? Playing the viola and the cello.
What’s a skill that you wish you could acquire? Playing the piano. I’ve tried.
When do you feel most comfortable in your own skin? At home with Charlie.
When do you feel least comfortable in your own skin? I feel pretty uncomfortable when Pauline Hanson criticises trans people and says she’s going to take away our support. That leaves me feeling physically sick.
What superpower do you wish for? Time travel. One of the books that really helped me get through the realisation and acceptance of being transgender was Orlando [by Virginia Woolf]. I’d love to go back to Elizabethan times and listen to composers playing their own music.
Ed Le Brocq tours with Ensemble Q at the Sydney Opera House on July 22 and the Melbourne Recital Centre on July 24.
