Mel survived a campaign of terror from her partner. It took her years to find justice

An alarming number of rape and domestic violence victims face ongoing danger even after seeking and even achieving justice, experts have warned, as a Sydney survivor revealed her predator’s years-long reign of terror.

*Mel spent two years in a coercive prison. Her ex-partner’s movement tracking, device interrogation and secret call recordings culminated in rape, strangulation and murder threats. It took four more years to see some form of justice. Her fear will last a lifetime.

Last month, a jury took just under two hours to convict Nick Kamel, 30, of serious sexual and domestic violence offences.

But Mel remains terrified. She described an intimidation campaign spanning from when they first met to his conviction, and of her struggle to be believed.

“Women are killed by men who are out on bail; I was worried that that would be me,” she told the Herald.

“He thought his life was ruined before this. When he gets out, what happens to me then?”

Support services warn that without major system reform and community attitude change, perpetrators will continue to control and endanger victims, despite legal monitoring and punishments.

This masthead became aware of Kamel’s case through independent sources and reached out to Mel. She shared her story to tell other survivors they are not alone.

An 18-month escalation of coercion, control, rape and physical violence

Court documents detail a harrowing escalation of abuse that began shortly after they connected on a dating app.

Red flags emerged after one date. Kamel, who claimed to have a law degree but was jobless and transient, became furious when Mel cancelled a meet-up due to a family event.

Months later, Mel was forced to abandon New Year’s Eve plans as Kamel texted her friends claiming she was sick. Enraged that she had slept with someone else during their first week of meeting, he spent the night trawling through her phone as she sat beside him.

‘Women are killed by men who are out on bail; I was worried that that would be me.’

From there, the control escalated.

“He would interrogate my whole life, basically,” Mel testified. She later discovered he recorded more than 400 of their calls. Many were played to the jury, causing her conflicting feelings about further privacy invasion.

“I felt sick and shocked to know that it was the whole time, and every call,” she told the Herald.

Kamel regularly searched her devices and forced her to leave her laptop at his apartment. He took screenshots of private texts and stole intimate images from years earlier, threatening to leak them to her family or publicly post them if she angered him.

Mel was made to install the movement-tracking app Life360. They communicated exclusively on the message-deleting app Wickr, where Kamel used the disturbing username “Panopticon” in reference to a surveillance system where people are constantly watched.

Desperate to escape, Mel confided in her mother and they went to Kamel’s apartment to retrieve her belongings.

Mel hoped her nightmare was over, but it was only just beginning.

Still terrified, she unblocked his number and met him in public. Kamel claimed he was suicidal because her parents’ knowledge of the blackmail ruined his future job prospects. A guilty Mel resumed the relationship and the abuse intensified.

Kamel forced her into unnecessary medical tests, falsely accusing her of issues. Claiming he gave her an STI, he said his life was ruined as he could never sleep with anyone else. He demanded she have sex on his terms. She often didn’t want to.

Mel described being choked several times, left unable to breathe, and often being blocked from leaving Kamel’s bedroom or apartment.

Misplaced embarrassment for resuming contact, fear of judgment, lack of physical injuries and their encrypted communication kept her from seeking help.

“I felt like there was not enough proof,” she said.

During their last meeting, Kamel choked Mel, pinned her down and raped her, ignoring her pleas to leave.

A shaken Mel put her phone on “do not disturb” the next day. She woke to missed calls and a flood of messages, including: “If you ignore me, I’ll f---ing murder you in broad daylight … I’ll f---ing [kill] you and your entire family”.

Mel feared for her life; he knew where she lived.

Calling Mel an “absolute c---“, Kamel wrote: “It looks like something is now public. Would be such a pity if it were disseminated widely.”

He sent a link to a pornographic website with a stolen intimate image of Mel, alongside her full name.

Hitting breaking point, Mel reported the website to the police.

More than five years of Mel’s life hangs on 1 hour and 45 minutes

Kamel was arrested in early 2022. It would take four years until his trial was over.

He was charged with rape, installing or using a listening device, stalking, distributing an image without consent and two counts of choking. Five more counts of intimate image sending were later laid. These were initially set for a second trial, but Kamel later pleaded guilty.

He was granted bail in court the same day as his arrest and remained in the community for nearly four years. Mel was incredibly frightened.

While on bail, with an apprehended domestic violence order (ADVO) in place, Mel said he “catfished” her by creating false flatmate profiles to trick her into attending fake inspections, knowing she was looking to move. Once, he pulled up beside her on a bike, wearing a Deliveroo jacket and mask. She screamed and fled.

Several people contacted Mel to urge her not to testify, while Kamel contacted her former partners and colleagues, asking about interactions with her.

Despite Mel reporting these incidents to police, they told her they did not have enough evidence to prosecute.

The trial faced continuous delays while Kamel changed legal teams and ordered last-minute instructions.

“It was always hanging over me,” Mel said.

“I kind of didn’t expect the trial to ever eventuate.”

In February, Kamel failed to front court and was arrested on a bench warrant and sent into custody on remand.

Two months later, the trial finally began. After six weeks of evidence in which private calls between the former couple were aired and Mel’s evidence painfully picked apart, the jury delivered their guilty verdicts.

A decision over events that consumed more than five years of Mel’s life took 1 hour and 45 minutes.

Kamel will be sentenced in August.

‘Belief can be transformative’: Rape and DV support experts

Rape and domestic violence experts warn that an abuser’s thirst for control often worsens upon arrest or incarceration.

Karen Bevan, chief executive of advocacy group Full Stop Australia, noted survivors remain fearful because a violent nature is rarely cured in jail.

For the rare convictions that do happen, many victims feel they have not truly “won.” They must climb a “mountain to be believed” and then prove enduring danger, due to victim-blaming, traumatic legal processes and psychological impacts.

Bevan said tackling the complex issue begins with believing survivors.

“Belief can be transformative, and any single one of us can do that,” Bevan said.

“You actually have the opportunity to offer someone a way out, a way forward, a sense of safety.”

Domestic Violence NSW senior policy and advocacy officer Angie Gehle said offenders routinely breach bail and intimidate victims from behind bars, often through digital means. Risks are often elevated because of short-lived sentences and potentially escalated anger, with many survivors left to keep themselves safe.

‘Everyone’s situation is different, but if you have someone you can try to talk to, let them have the opportunity to be there for you.’

Gehle agreed that belief was “the most powerful tool around safety”.

While justice looks different to everyone, Gehle said the swift verdict in Mel’s case was significant because juries quite often “can’t believe that some things are real”.

Mel said she understood why many victims do not seek help. Kamel’s calculated manipulation, isolation from her support network and erosion of her self-worth contributed to her taking 18 months to do so.

“Everyone’s situation is different, but if you have someone you can try to talk to, let them have the opportunity to be there for you,” she wanted to say to others.

“You may feel like no one else understands, but they might be able to help you. The situation won’t improve on its own – people like that are not going to give up or change”.

*Mel is a pseudonym

Support is available from the National Sexual Assault, Domestic Family Violence Counselling Service at 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732). Anyone impacted by sexual, domestic, or family violence can also access 24/7, free and confidential trauma-specialist counselling through Full Stop Australia at 1800 FULL STOP (1800 385 578).

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