I’ve been mocked in a workplace chat group. How do I obtain an apology?

6 days ago 7

Each week Dr Kirstin Ferguson tackles questions on workplace, career and leadership in her advice column Got a Minute? This week: asking for an apology when you’ve been mocked, negotiating a pay rise to reflect your achievement, and an appalling manager that the HR department refuses to sanction.

If you have been made fun of by your colleagues behind your back, it is not unreasonable to expect an apology.

I work for a government department and, about a year ago, I learnt that I was being mocked in an informal work WhatsApp group (which I wasn’t part of) and called derogatory terms. I raised this with management and while my manager was sympathetic, I received no official acknowledgement or apology. When I said I would escalate the matter to the internal investigation team, the WhatsApp group was abruptly shut down and never mentioned again. Now, a year later, I still feel aggrieved, especially as one of the people from that group is now my line manager. Am I right to still feel wronged that the incident was never addressed, and that my right to be treated with respect and professionalism was completely violated?

The behaviour you experienced was unprofessional and hurtful. It sounds like everything was brushed under the carpet in the hope that everyone (i.e. you) could just “move on”. Without an acknowledgement of what happened, it is not surprising you are still holding on to these feelings.

Now that one of the people involved is your line manager, you can raise this issue again with HR or someone senior in your organisation. The question I have is: what outcome are you seeking? Do you need to see accountability for those who wronged you? Would some external help (through an employee assistance program or somewhere else) help you process what happened? Do you want to move out of the team you are in so you don’t have to work with your new line manager?

You are right to feel wronged. You were not treated with respect or professionalism, and your needs were never addressed. Once you feel able to take back some control, you will hopefully begin to feel less defined by what happened.

I’ve been working on a federal helpline for over two years. When the service provider changed, staff transferred under the previous EBA, which had already expired. In July this year, I was due for an annual pay rise. Instead, I was told I would only receive the national 3.75 per cent increase, as management argued this was better than the 3.5 per cent in the old EBA. However, the company’s own remuneration policy promises increases of more than 5 per cent. I’ve been rated a top performer, and my manager says I have a case, but I’m nervous about how to approach senior management. How can I negotiate effectively, and what are my rights in this situation?

Whenever you head into a discussion about pay, it is always best to negotiate based on your performance rather than focusing on your entitlement. Gather your achievements for the year and offer examples of why you were rated a top performer. You might say something like, “I have been rated a top performer because I have met and exceeded the expectations set for me. I would like my pay to reflect both my performance and the company’s policy.” If they are not prepared to budge their position, ask them what they do need to see from a top performer to justify an increase beyond the national amount.

In terms of the EBA, check with your union or the Fair Work Ombudsman, so you have the facts about what applies in your situation. When you have your pay discussion with your leader, have that information with you so you can speak about your pay based on evidence, rather than on hearsay or emotion.

My colleagues and I have been subjected to bad behaviour from our manager for 18 months. We are a small team that has been decimated, with six team members departing due to his behaviour, including sexual harassment, bullying, and intimidation. Multiple incidents have been reported to HR without action. One of us has since resigned and last week I was made redundant. The manager has also resigned, and I have just learnt they are keeping him on as a consultant. Any advice?

Whoa, that is a lot of change. It is difficult to advise you since it sounds like you are leaving the company (and many others are too). My advice is to run while you can to a new role where hopefully these kinds of misfit managers are dealt with quickly so that they don’t leave a trail of destruction in their wake. You sound like you did all you could. Time to put it behind you and move on.

To submit a question about work, careers or leadership, visit kirstinferguson.com/ask. You will not be asked to provide your name or any identifying information. Letters may be edited.

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