You dress better than your partner? You could be in a ‘swag gap’ relationship

3 months ago 10

By Laura Craik

November 15, 2025 — 8.00am

You’re in the final stages of preparation for your date-night dinner – which is to say your hair is freshly washed and blow-dried, your kitten heels have been located, and your blouse is tucked neatly into your beloved black velvet trousers.

The table is booked for 8pm, which means your husband is cutting it a bit fine. He only went into the shower 10 minutes ago. Still, at least he’s had one.

It quickly transpires that showering is his only concession to the evening ahead. For while he may be clean, he appears to be wearing the same clothes he’s worn all week – or a variant of them. His navy quarter-zip reveals a crumpled shirt collar, and there’s a small tear in his cords.

Always immaculately turned out, Hailey Bieber steps out with her husband, Justin, who is dressed in streetwear.

But it’s the footwear that really rankles. You weren’t expecting freshly polished Oxfords, but Birkenstock Arizonas? With socks?

If this resonates, commiserations: you are officially in a “swag gap relationship”.

The internet has a name for everything these days, and “swag gap” is the latest term coined to describe the sartorial disconnect between partners, where one habitually dresses more smartly than the other.

Case in point: the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. She, a fragrant mélange of linen dresses, tailored trousers, crisp white shirts, Cartier jewellery and heels. He, a polo-shirt-wearing refusenik with ruffled hair, skew-whiff collars, scuffed suede shoes and cords or chinos that have seen better days.

Another prime example is singer Justin Bieber and his entrepreneur wife, Hailey. As founder of the billion-dollar beauty brand Rhode, 28-year-old Hailey is never less than immaculately turned out – usually in sky-high heels, flawless make-up and a slinky little something from YSL.

Meanwhile, 31-year-old Justin trails several steps behind, dressed as though he’s fallen out of a skip.

Justin’s habitual look – baseball cap, hoodie and XXL knee-length shorts pulled low enough to reveal the branded elastic of his underwear – can partly be attributed to the fact that sportswear is to pop and rap artists what tailoring is to the landed gentry. Like the artist formerly known as Kanye West, Bieber derives his own kind of kudos from dressing far more casually than his wife.

Even at casual events, Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex often favours a more tailored look while her husband, Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex is fond of polo shirts.

Likewise, record producer Benny Blanco, who recently wed the ever-polished Selena Gomez, seems almost to take pride in his offbeat sense of style, mixing Hawaiian shirts with football shorts or washed-out T-shirts with scruffy dungarees and pool slides.

But not every swag gap relationship plays out in the casual environs of Montecito or LA.

When he was prime minister, Boris Johnson often attracted criticism for his scruffy appearance, with some suggesting that his rumpled suits and untucked shirts were less a mark of laziness than a shrewd political device – a way to appear as a relatable “man of the people”, whose dishevelment signalled authenticity and “anti-spin”.

Others argued that his eccentricity was a form of privilege, noting that only an Eton-educated member of the elite could flout conventional dress codes without consequence.

While his impeccably turned-out wife, Carrie, has succeeded in smartening him up to some degree, theirs remains a classic swag gap relationship. A media consultant with a fondness for Roksanda, Boden and The Vampire’s Wife – even on a country walk – she always looks considered, having clearly put more thought into each outfit than her husband ever did when he was running the country.

And though she seems to have persuaded Boris to run a comb through his hair occasionally, his day-to-day look still exudes barely contained chaos.

Boris Johnson’s crumpled suits and brush-free hair contrast with his wife Carrie’s impeccably turned out look.

But perhaps that’s part of the appeal. “It might sound weird, but I actually like that my husband dresses down all the time,” says Charlotte, 52, a lawyer.

“As a self-employed graphic designer, he’s not from a corporate background. On the rare occasions that he does wear a suit, he looks stiff and awkward – probably because that’s how he feels. Maybe he relies a little too much on hoodies, and yes, his jeans have definitely seen better days, but as someone who doesn’t love dressing up myself, I like that the bar is low for me when I do.”

It’s not always the man who’s deficient in swag, though.

“My wife would wear jeans to a funeral,” says management consultant Dominic, 47. “She has so many dresses that she never seems to wear any more. It can feel disheartening, when I’ve made an effort, to see her in the same old pair. I’ll admit I sometimes read more into it than I should. Is it me she’s lost respect for, or herself? Or does she just really like jeans?”

According to relationship psychologist Anjula Mutanda, sometimes it pays to dig deeper. “Our clothing is a form of communication. Speaking very generally, when one person has stopped making the effort they once did, they may be signalling dissatisfaction or indifference. [In couples’ therapy], you can use that as the beginning of peeling a particular onion, as it usually suggests something else might be going on.”

That doesn’t mean swag gap relationships are doomed to fail. “Problems only occur if one person’s presentation has a negative impact on the other,” Mutanda says. “It’s fine for one person to dress more stylishly or confidently, provided the other isn’t diminished – or their appearance weaponised.”

Besides, in an era when couples are praised for mirroring each other’s style, there’s something refreshing about those who plough their own sartorial furrow.

If the swag gap is bothering you, remember: you fell in love with the person, not their clothes – however shoddy those clothes might be.

The five signs you’re in a swag gap relationship

Your partner’s hoodie collection could rival JD Sports
They don’t appear to own a hairbrush
They think Crocs are perfectly acceptable dinner attire
They don’t possess a single tailored item
They haven’t worn anything without an elasticated waistband since 2019

The Telegraph, London

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