Thousands flock to Italy to write love letters to Juliet. They all ask the same question

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If William Shakespeare travelled to Verona before using it as the backdrop of what’s become known as the greatest love story of all time, then his sojourn has been kept secret for more than 428 years.

Whatever its 16th-century reality was, modern-day Verona claims the City of Love brand with legions of Romeo and Juliet-themed tourist traps seducing travellers off the highway between Milan and Venice.

Who could resist Juliet Capulet’s statue when one touch brings good luck in love?

What’s in the courtyard next to it, underneath a balcony built circa 1936 – available to be lamented or married on for a fee – proves Casa di Giulietta (Juliet’s House) is not merely a lucrative facade.

A bright red, at times overflowing, mailbox is stuffed with some of the more than 8000 letters (annually) penned to Juliet. The 13-year-old’s fictional status is no barrier to their contents – questions about love, yearning and all the tricky rest – being answered.

Juliet writes back.

Amanda Seyfried’s 2010 film Letters to Juliet, and Juliet Capulet herself, may be fictional, but the imaginary teen does dish out love advice in real life when asked... well, a small team of volunteers does on her behalf.

It got the Hollywood treatment with Amanda Seyfried’s Letters to Juliet 15 years ago, yet Club di Giulietta (Juliet Club) exists in real life.

A small team of volunteers responds to the letters and emails sent by the globe’s lovelorn, aided by tourists du jour.

For four hours, tucked in a quiet laneway around the corner from Juliet’s House, I was one of them.

Giovanna Tamassia was quick to offer me an espresso after buzzing me into the small room that functions as Juliet Club’s reception, office and archive, then we started the labour of love.

“It is impossible to reply all letters as sometimes [there] are really too many,” Tamassia, who took over as the club’s president when her father, its founder, died in 2018, tells me a few weeks later when I contact her with follow-up questions.

“But we try to keep this wonderful tradition alive in the best way, giving a personal reply, trust and understanding.”

Reading the stories sent to Juliet, as Tamassia has done for decades, provides “hope in humankind... you see that love is everywhere and is the most important thing in life.”

Such a feeling overwhelmed me half-way into my cameo as a “Juliet secretary”, when I pulled out two letters from the English-language box that unexpectedly moved me.

How will I know when I’ve met The One?

There are other questions – I’m scared to be alone forever, what if I never find love? What if I’m not enough to be loved? What if I’ve met The One, but I’ve let them slip through my fingers? – more commonly written to Juliet, but it was the one asked by a woman from Ukraine, and a woman from Russia, that I couldn’t get out of my head.

How will I know when I’ve met The One?

Two people, on opposite sides of a bloody war with no end in sight, would have no idea such a high-stakes sentence, pondered for centuries, unites them.

Clearly, it was time to phone a friend.

Is there such thing as The One?

Clinical psychologist and couple’s therapist Angelica Bilibio believes it’s human nature to be scared of not finding a romantic partner, as we “are born in pairs and not alone”.

But The One – someone magically made to fit you, and your flaws – is a “myth”, according to relationship and sex therapist Selina Nguyen.

A “deep and beautiful” long-term relationship, says Nguyen, can’t solve all your problems. It’s something built brick by brick, which to Nguyen is “much more romantic and fulfilling” than a destined life partner you stumble upon.

“Pick the one that puts effort into understanding you and learning how to love you well,” says Nguyen. “[Who] stays when life gets hard... brings out the light in you.”

Those who say they’ve found The One, paradoxically, agree with both Bilibio and Nguyen.

Jill Bradley, 87, married Frank Bradley in 1960. They met when she was 20, at a dance in England.

Jill Bradley, married to Frank Bradley for 65 years

The man who Jill Bradley would move to Australia and raise three children with was not her first partner.

That meant when a 20-year-old Jill first met Frank Bradley in England, she already knew what she didn’t want in a husband.

“Once I looked at him, I just knew I’d never leave him,” says Jill, now 87.

Frank had come to the Palais de Danse straight from the football. They shared a dance, and he asked her upstairs for a drink.

“As we were walking upstairs, I looked. He got mud all over his shoes,” Jill recalls. “I thought, ‘Oh, he’s not very clean.’”

It didn’t matter. His considerate nature outshone his footwear. Nine months later, they were engaged, and married 18 months later.

“It was just this kindness, this feeling that I was cared for ... a safe feeling,” says Jill.

We pause. Before he died in February, she would have spoken to me with Frank by her side.

“He was just so nice.”

Betty Walker, married to Bernie Walker for 41 years

A singer who spent 16 years married to a concert pianist, Betty Walker is quick to warn: “Don’t hastily get married because that’s the wrong thing to do.”

Betty Walker married her first husband when she was 20. She says the wrong thing to do is to get hastily married when you’re young and don’t know what you want. By the time her second husband, Bernie Walker, came around, she knew what she wanted. They were married for 41 years until his death in 2018.

Betty was an infatuated 20-year-old when she married the father of her two children. By the time she wed a fellow divorcee years later, she knew what she wanted.

“I didn’t want to rush into anything again,” says Betty. “It’s hard to describe ... You know, in your own heart, exactly what you want, and … if this one will be the right one.”

Bernie Walker’s “soft personality” struck a chord with Betty, who met the accountant because their daughters were schoolmates. They were married until his death in 2018.

Fraser Ferguson and Annette Ferguson celebrated 60 years of marriage in October 2024. They keep the commemorative letter from King Charles III and Queen Camilla in an album of photos from their relationship that their daughter made them.

Annette Ferguson and Fraser Ferguson, married for 61 years

By the time Annette Ferguson, 84, married Fraser Ferguson, 88, Fraser says, they were “totally convinced we were suitable to each other”.

It was in 1964, three years after meeting at a friend’s 21st birthday party. When Annette met Fraser, she had just broken off a two-year relationship, and she now believes love grows when “you just go with how you’re feeling”.

Annette knew the split was the correct choice because she didn’t feel heartbroken after calling time. When Fraser and Annette reached two years of courting, and her “intense happiness” hadn’t faded, she was certain the right person had come along for her.

“It’s an overwhelming feeling,” says Annette. “It carries you through … we’ve had our ups and downs and fights … but it never dissolves.”

The fact we’re speaking at all, and the tears for which we pause for a moment, are evidence of Fraser’s devotion to Annette. He had come out of surgery less than 48 hours beforehand, but Annette, who wanted to be interviewed, wouldn’t do it without him.

“You don’t have to try and concentrate on, ‘Well, do I love him or don’t I?’” says Annette of why she chose to marry Fraser. “None of that comes into your mind when you know that’s The One.”

Nic Fletcher, left, and Gina Costello, right, met in 2008. Twelve years after they got talking inside a Parramatta Road pub, they married.

Nic Fletcher and Gina Costello, together for 17 years

“It was instant attraction. It was, ‘Oh my God, that’s the person,’” Nic Fletcher, 52, says of the moment she spotted Gina Costello at a 2008 Dykes on Bikes meet-up.

They married in 2020. Fletcher calls Costello her calm in chaos, her greatest champion. They share a mutual understanding of “each other’s weird”.

“If you feel less of a person because of that person, they’re not your person,” says Fletcher. “Your person is the one [who] lifts you up and supports you.”

Costello recalls “an ease” she felt immediately when they spoke for the first time inside a Parramatta Road pub.

“There was a calming,” says Costello, also 52. “It was trusting your gut that things felt right.”

Raymond Howes and Helen Howes grew up five minutes away from each other, in Sydney’s Willoughby and Roseville, respectively. They didn’t meet until they were half-way across the world.

Raymond Howes and Helen Howes, married for 56 years

Raymond Howes, 84, quickly offers what the bishop who married him to Helen Howes, 85, told them in 1969.

“A young couple came to him and asked him, ‘Do you think we’re in love?’ And he said, ‘No, or you wouldn’t have asked me,’” says Raymond.

“You don’t need to ask anybody. You should know yourself.”

Raymond was working as an architect in Tanzania when he met Helen, who was working there as a missionary. They grew up five minutes from each other in Sydney, and shared many friends – but they didn’t meet until they were half-way across the world.

“You don’t have to have a lot in common ... I would say it’s the chemistry … I had a few other not strong relationships, but I knew they weren’t right,” says Helen.“When Raymond came along, we just knew it was right.”

Joe Fenech (left) and Matt Larkin (right) met when they were 20 and 19, respectively. They’ve been “inseparable ever since”.

Joe Fenech and Matt Larkin, together for 11 years

Joe Fenech, 31, and Matt Larkin, also 31, have been “inseparable” from the moment they met on a skiing trip in Queenstown, New Zealand, more than a decade ago. They married in 2022.

“I felt an instant connection with him… it was different to anything that I’d previously experienced,” says Fenech. “There were no games that were being played between us.”

“It was a natural feeling,” says Larkin. “Your body often tells you things … mentally, physically, what do you feel? Listen and tune into what your body’s saying … don’t fight feelings.”

Shortly after meeting Larkin, Fenech’s father, former South Sydney Rabbitohs captain Mario, was diagnosed with early onset dementia aged 53.

“Life’s too short to live with what-ifs,” says The Maltese Falcon’s son.

Rob Martell (left) and Jayson Eng (right), pictured here with their nine-year-old Groodle, Owen, met almost 13 years ago. They married in 2018.

Rob Martell and Jayson Eng, together for 12 years

“I think you know you’ve met The One when you forget what The One was meant to be,” says Rob Martell, 39. “As soon as I met him, I couldn’t picture anyone else.”

Originally from Canada, Martell had just moved to Sydney from Melbourne almost 13 years ago when he was invited to a house party by some mutual friends of now-husband Jayson Eng.

Eng, 42, felt all the noise and “rules” of dating melt away when speaking with Martell. It felt natural to be authentic with him from the get-go.

“You’ll know they’re The One when you can be open, honest and vulnerable to them.”

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