They’d emailed for months. Then Mark flew to NZ to see if they had ‘something real’

After they were cast opposite each other in a play, actors Mark Winter, 42, and Geraldine “Geri” Hakewill, 38, fell in love, and Geri proposed. Since then, they’ve ridden a roller coaster – and come full circle.

Geraldine “Geri” Hakewill and Mark Winter: “He was the hottest person I’d ever seen – completely out of my league,” says Geri of their frst meeting.Credit: Eugene Hyland

Mark: I was always drawn to Geri. We met when we were both young actors in the theatre scene in 2011, but we didn’t connect in any meaningful way until 2016, when we were cast as the romantic leads in the Sydney Theatre Company play Chimerica. We began emailing each other about the show and that’s where the relationship started. Gradually, these emails became less about the job and more about our lives. I was like Tom Hanks in You’ve Got Mail – totally obsessed with waiting for her emails.

Geri was in New Zealand doing a TV show, Wanted, at the time, and after a few months of emailing, I booked a ticket to Auckland. I had to find out if there was something real there. I’d been waiting at this cafe for Geri for about five hours, because her shoot was running late. It was so nerve-racking – I must have Listerined my mouth 15 times in the bathroom. Finally, she arrived, we said hello, then started to kiss. We put a lot of faith in that moment – if it went badly, we would have been stuck doing this play together. But it was beautiful and powerful, and I knew then I just wanted to be near her.

Geri is so warm and likes being around people, which is curious to me, because I’m a shy, solitary creature. She makes the plans and I go, “Who are we having dinner with?”

We moved fast. A few years in, we bought a house in country Victoria. We got married in the front yard during COVID. It was a simple, beautiful wedding. She proposed to me, which is typical of Geri – she gets shit done. She’s great at pulling the trigger, whereas I’ll sit and think about it for a decade.

‘She proposed to me, which is typical of Geri … She’s great at pulling the trigger, whereas I’ll sit and think about it for a decade.’

A few years ago, I went through a hard time, battling depression, and started writing a film out of that experience. Geri said, “Let’s make it – I’m going to produce it.” I’d still be working on a draft now if it wasn’t for her; she pushed me in a way I couldn’t have done by myself. We drew on our mortgage to fund the film [The Rooster]. It’s about men’s mental health – not exactly box-office gold – so there was zero chance it would make any money. It was an extraordinary display of love, faith, belief and sacrifice from Geri to do that, but we’re invested in each other’s careers and creativity.

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It was a tough shoot. For one, we found out Geri was pregnant just before shooting began. We’d been trying for a long time, so we were deeply relieved and very happy, but it couldn’t have happened at a worse time. She was suffering from intense morning sickness and could only eat crackers with Vegemite. One morning, I watched her unload a van full of heavy equipment, with zero fuss, after she’d been vomiting.

Being married to another actor is great in that you have somebody who gets it. On the other hand, I’m sure Geri wouldn’t mind if I worked a normal job that gave us more financial security. But she makes me feel all things are possible, which is very powerful.

“We married in the front yard during COVID,” Mark says. “It was a simple, beautiful wedding.”Credit:

Geri: The first night I met Mark was at drinks at the Malthouse Theatre. He was wearing a leather jacket, sitting on a table smoking, looking like Danny Zuko [in Grease]. He was the hottest person I’d ever seen – completely out of my league. We met again a couple of years later at a party in LA and got chatting. Away from his home turf he was much more vulnerable, and I realised what a gentle, calm person he is. I like that side of his personality – but I do have to warn Mark about six months ahead if someone’s coming over for a cup of tea.

We’ve been together ever since that day he flew to New Zealand. About two years in, I started thinking about proposing – why does it have to be the man? But because I’m an anxious person, I started overthinking it. Mark was a smoker then and one day I picked a fight with him, saying things like, “You’re gonna die.” He asked where this was coming from and I said, “I’m freaking out because I thought I might propose, but not if you have a habit that’s going to kill you!”

A year later, we were having dinner at a pub and he said, “Hey, if you’d still like to marry me, I’d really like to marry you.” We talked it through over the meal and when we were walking out, I got down on one knee in the carpark. It was gravelly and painful to kneel on, and there was no ring. Not very conventional, but it made sense for us.

It’s been a roller-coaster few years since then and there have been really hard moments. One was making the film together. Mark was in a tricky place emotionally – he was grieving the recent death of a friend, and his work had become quiet – so I felt encouraging him to make this movie was a practical thing I could do to help him. But it was stressful.

‘[Making Mark’s film together] was so worthwhile. It helped prepare us to be parents, by learning how to be a team.’

Part of my job as producer was to force him to make decisions quickly – something Mark is bad at – which caused conflict. If I felt he was asking for unrealistic things, like wanting our actors to ride expensive and dangerous quad bikes for a scene, I’d repress my frustrations until they erupted. The things that seemed benign to me – like doing press to promote the film – would be much harder for him, and I’d get impatient. It took a toll and we are still recovering from that. But it was so worthwhile. It helped prepare us to be parents, by learning how to be a team and work together.

It’s the absolute best seeing Mark be a dad to our son, Robin. He’s so funny and affectionate, and very conscious of being a true co-parent – he was a stay-at-home dad for a year in 2024 so I could tour the play Gaslight. We’re back on stage now [for Troy at the Malthouse, Melbourne], which is the first time we’ve acted together in a play since we started dating. It feels like a full-circle moment.

I’m so glad I married Mark. We really inspire each other, and that’s all you can hope for, right? That you find someone who makes you want to live your life.

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