The foster parents and a little girl’s life transformed

Any time Alice has a big piece of news to share or something weighing on her mind, the first person she calls is her mum, Carol. Sometimes it’s practical, like a work decision or help finding a rental property. Other times it’s just to talk something through. On its own, this isn’t unusual but for Alice, it’s a habit shaped over years of consistency. She came into Carol’s care when she was three, with no certainty about how long she would stay. Now aged 25, their relationship has become more than routine – it’s something they both treasure.

“In primary school, I could instantly tell that my family dynamic was different to everyone else’s,” says Alice. “But I never once felt this family wasn’t mine and I was just here waiting to move on. No matter what happened tomorrow, this was my family.”

Carol and her husband Phil have been foster parents to many children over the past two decades, including long-term, short-term and respite placements. In addition to Alice and her two biological brothers – who were all fostered as toddlers and later adopted by the couple – Carol and Phil also have three older biological children and two other long-term foster children aged nine and 12. Add 10 grandkids into the mix and it’s a big, busy blended family.

“I’m an only child and my husband was brought up that way as his siblings are much older,” says Carol. “But I’ve always had a dream about a big house with kids everywhere and me looking after them.”

A growing need for foster carers

Julie Harris oversees Wesley Mission’s carer recruitment and training across the Hunter and Central Coast regions. She says there’s a “dire need for carers because the volume of people putting their hand up has decreased.”

In 2025, 752 children and young people were supported in foster care by Wesley Mission and a further three were adopted. The organisation puts a strong emphasis on keeping families together where possible and keeps children connected to their birth family when they’re in care.

Prospective foster families attend mandatory training on maintaining these connections and on providing trauma-informed care for children and young people, many of whom have had exposure to drug and alcohol abuse, domestic violence and mental health issues.

“One of the biggest misconceptions is when someone thinks that because they’ve successfully raised their own children, they can use the same techniques with a foster child,” says Harris. “A carer like Carol is quick to identify that she’s parented all her foster children very differently from the way that she parented her own children. And in fact, very differently from the way that she grandparents her grandchildren.”

Foster parents and children also receive ongoing support from Wesley Mission, including a caseworker, access to counselling, speech therapy and physiotherapy, and help with appointments, school enrolments and taking children to visit their birth families.

“It’s very important to have this backup, you wouldn’t be able to do it on your own,” says Carol of her network. Even with her years of experience, she still calls her caseworker or other carers for advice when she needs it.

“These kids have suffered traumas and there will be behavioural implications to that. But if you can ride through that, it’s worth it to break the cycle. When you stick with these kids and show them family and how to love, you see them change. It’s been our experience to see the kids go from being so scared and not trusting anyone to becoming happy and loving kids.”

Alice is one of them. In the past few years, she’s moved into her own apartment and has followed in Carol’s footsteps to work in early childcare. “I always tell people my mum’s the best mum ever and I always want to tell my life story, so everyone knows how amazing my family is and how proud I am of them.”

Driven to do more good because every life matters. Visit Wesley Mission for support, information or to make a donation.