The cautionary tale of Duchess Meghan, the Kardashians and the missing poppy

3 weeks ago 4

Opinion

November 14, 2025 — 11.30am

Just so we’re clear from the off, the Duchess of Sussex is a chancer, a phony and insufferably earnest in my book. I think she believed she could modernise the monarchy by guest editing Vogue, I think she’d be a whinger when camping and I think she’ll leave Harry within the decade.

But. For the zillionth time I find myself wondering how this woman can get a break. Especially in a world where powerful men are doing things which are evil, and her latest “crime” is leaving the house without a certain accessory.

Prince Harry and Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, with Serena Williams at the Baby2Baby Gala before Kris Jenner’s 70th birthday.

The global headlines over Meghan not wearing a Remembrance Day poppy at Kris Jenner’s 70th would make you think she’d vandalised the Cenotaph in London. “Disrespectful.” “Pathetic.” “Shameful.” She really copped it.

Yes, her husband Harry wore a poppy – because he’s a veteran. The poppy means something to him. It’s his story.

H wearing it to a Kardashian party would have been a great little conversation starter about war, without provoking any headline fury about him trying to push his allegiances onto a pack of Yanks.

Meghan isn’t Harry. She’s not an extension of his army and family history. Her clothes aren’t geopolitical statements, plus she would have known the poppy would ruin her Mrs Danvers look. She was at a California birthday bash, not Westminster Abbey.

Because – let’s go to the lost tapes vault here – she left!

She clocked off. Moved her life and her entertaining cheat sheets to a different continent. She’s not repping the monarchy. She’s not obliged to perform remembrance symbolism for a country she doesn’t live in.

Wearing a poppy is a duty tied to a role she revoked. Meghan gave up trying to be British long ago and reverted to who she is: a cringey enthusiastic American keen to be centre stage.

The real bind: Meghan can’t win either way. The game is rigged.

For mine, she showed grace not pulling poppy focus in a week when the Princess of Wales laid her first Remembrance Day wreath. The showgirl ceded the limelight. Smart.

Had she jaunted off to Jenner HQ sporting a poppy, bet you my house, super and annual lemon crop she would have been called a hypocrite.

Sidenote: for those of you thinking, “she still uses her duchess title, she can’t have it both ways”, I get it. I have wrestled with that too.

And I have concluded titles are legal names. Meghan ditched a job and lifestyle, she didn’t go into witness protection. The title is hers. Keeping it doesn’t mean she’s clocked on for royal service any more than keeping your ex-husband’s surname means you’re still washing his jocks.

Meghan gave up trying to be British long ago. She is an enthusiastic American keen to be centre stage.

The more interesting story, btw, is seeing Harry and Meghan in their new social metier. The pics of her at a momager’s party with people who sell undies and bronzer were ace. See ya tiaras and protocol and ruling classes, let’s do tequila shots with reality TV royalty. Love.

But those pics were removed from Kardashian Insta accounts – reportedly at the Sussexes’ request – because they knew what they should really be worried about. The optics of partying with Oprah and Jeff Bezos while William toils away at rebuilding the brand after the Andrew scandal and Harry angles for a way back into the fold. That’s a problem. Meghan’s lapel isn’t.

What really gets up my nose about the latest snarking is Meghan’s sartorial choice wasn’t read as “woman goes to party unadorned”. It was, “ex-royal continues to refuse lifelong unpaid emotional labour for Britain”.

That’s the expectation, isn’t it? That she’ll spend forever performing symbolic deference to a place and people she explicitly walked away from. Forever on call to show she’s appropriately grateful, reverent and sorry.

Meghan didn’t disrespect anyone. She didn’t snub veterans. She just didn’t pay lip service to something unrelated to her.

If someone quits a job, you don’t demand they wear their Coles uniform when they shop. You don’t keep them on the group chat when they’ve left the building.

Five years later, we’re still acting like Meghan is on the public clock. She’s not.

Kate Halfpenny is the founder of Bad Mother Media.

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