The best way to see Bangkok is one few tourists bother with

It used to be that tuk-tuks were a rite of passage in Bangkok. You’d get in, ditch your backpack, and climb aboard one of those three-wheel rockets, blasting through traffic and choking on diesel fumes as the humidity soaked your skin and the lights blurred just enough to be beautiful.

But times change, and this mode of hurtling through Bangkok is not immune to the relentless march of progress. Now, with the advent of ride-share-ordering app Grab and the accessibility of metered taxis, the tuk-tuk has become less of a mode of transportation and more of an overpriced nostalgic novelty. It’s the kind of made-for-tourists experience that you’d buy in a souvenir store.

Tuk-tuks are sometimes double, if not triple, the cost of a plain old metered taxi, depending on how hard you haggle. Unless, of course, you subject yourself to the dreaded “stops” scam, where, in exchange for a price that seems too good to be true (spoiler: it is), a tuk-tuk driver will take you to all the main tourist attractions in town, as long as you’re willing to stop at about half a dozen tailors along the way.

It’s supposedly done in exchange for fuel vouchers, and while it’s great for the driver, there really are only so many tailored pants one person can wear.

To save yourself this headache (and stop you from buying more pants that you don’t need), skip the tuk-tuk ride and see Bangkok by ferry on the Chao Phraya River or Khlong Saen Saep.

Let’s start with the route along Khlong Saen Saep, which is a canal that slices through the city. It can put you within walking distance of the Jim Thompson House, the Bangkok Art and Culture Centre, and for those who want to drink SangSom out of a plastic bucket and feel like they’re 19 again, Khao San Road.

All you need to know about this ferry is that people who operate it wear crash helmets. It’s a local ferry, which is to say there are no soft edges. Climbing aboard requires dexterity, but once you’re in, you’ll be treated to a canal-side view of Bangkok that few tourists ever bother to see.

The more common route is on the Chao Phraya River. It’s the murky, arterial highway that slithers past the Grand Palace, Wat Arun and an assortment of other temples, parks and markets that are all near the piers.

I’m of the unpopular opinion that most of these temples are better viewed without abandoning ship. Up close, they lose some of their magic, as all the touts and other tourists tend to detract from their charm. Also, you don’t dip your tips in gold for nothing, and the way those temple spires sparkle in the morning sun is a sight that’s impossible to behold when you’re underneath them.

Don’t bother with a river cruise. Hop aboard a local ferry, which is far more interesting. You’ll sit next to giggling school kids, bored office workers and monks with iPhones, which will never not make me inwardly chuckle.

These ferries operate on a flag system, one which I can’t claim to fully understand. According to myth, each flag represents a different ferry type. Blue is for the tourist ferry, which stops at all the major attractions (and upon request, apparently). Then you have orange, yellow and green, all of which denote a different number of stops, routes and lengths. There are also ferries with no flags, which are the cheapest, stop the most and give you the most local experience.

This might sound confusing, but the good news is that the river flows only in one direction, and it’s very hard to get lost. Bangkok is also one of those incredible cities where you can pick any stop along that murky highway, hop off, and inevitably find something great to see, somewhere fabulous to eat and someone serving ice-cold beer.

Remember, it’s the journey – not the destination – that’s important when travelling through Bangkok. Once you relinquish control to the river gods and their colourful flags, the city opens up in remarkable ways.

THE DETAILS

FLY
Qantas and Thai Airways have daily direct flights to Bangkok. See thaiairways.com/en-au; qantas.com.au

FLOAT
Ferries on the Khlong Saen Saep cost between 10 and 20 baht (95 cents), depending on distance, whereas the Chao Phraya Ferry can range from 10 baht for a single trip to 150 baht ($7) for a day pass. See transitbangkok.com

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