The artist who should be on your Christmas playlist (it’s not Mariah)

Hear that? The sound of sleigh bells. It means only one thing. No, it’s not the coming of Santa. It’s something much bigger than that.

It’s Mariah Carey season.

That’s right, it’s the time of year when the queen of Christmas comes out of her annual 11-month deep freeze (the secret to her eternally youthful appearance, obviously) to dust off her red clothes and sparkles, crank up her merch store, and rake in more money in a month than most artists earn in a decade – all thanks to one (yes, 1) song. I don’t even need to say it because there’s no doubt you’ve heard it 187 times in the past week alone, but I will anyway: All I Want For Christmas is You (hoooooooooooo baby!).

The song has been a holiday staple since its release in 1994, but recently, thanks to its memefication (which Carey herself smartly embraced) and a worldwide shortage of joy, it’s reached new heights – higher than even Carey’s own whistle register. Not only is it the bestselling Christmas song of all time, it’s one of the bestselling singles ever, and will probably achieve top spot if things continue as they are.

But with all due respect to Ms Carey (seriously: gotta love the hustle and the high notes), I think it’s time we crowned a new queen. Of course, I love All I Want For Christmas Is You as much as the next millennial, but at this point, it’s more overdone than your grandma’s straight-from-the-freezer turkey roast. The memes have gone from funny and fresh to kind of tired and flat, and the serotonin just isn’t hitting like it used to. It’s about time we let the whole thing rest, and not just for the ever-briefer period between Christmas seasons each year.

There are plenty of other diva-delivered holiday hits that deserve some time at the top of the tree. Looking back to the classics, Eartha Kitt’s Santa Baby is a sensual sensation that, unlike so many other Christmas songs – including All I Want For Christmas Is You – actually recognises the idea that a man’s presence is not, in fact, in itself a present. Meanwhile, Judy Garland’s Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas is full of a potent yearning for better times that befits our times. And Darlene Love’s Christmas (Baby Please Come Home), which All I Want For Christmas Is You owes a lot to, is perfect for a spot of Baileys-fuelled Christmas Eve karaoke.

Meanwhile, on this side of the turn of the century, it’s true that, while they’ve produced some respectable holiday offerings, the next generation of pop divas have, on the whole, not really created anything strong enough to take Carey’s Christmas crown. Sabrina Carpenter’s A Nonsense Christmas, Taylor Swift’s Christmas Tree Farm, Kacey Musgraves’ Ribbons and Bows and Ariana Grande’s Santa Tell Me all deserve a place in holiday playlists. Still, they don’t quite shine enough to outsparkle the blinding dazzle of All I Want For Christmas Is You.

There is, however, one song – one diva – who can: Underneath the Tree by Kelly Clarkson. Clarkson’s fizzy bop explores similar emotions to All I Want For Christmas, and, like its predecessor, is an upbeat, infectious, joyful hit of dopamine. It’s easy to dance to, sing along to (in your own head, if not out loud), and wrap a mountain of presents to. And there’s one crucial, key point of difference: it is not, in fact, overplayed. If anything, it’s underplayed. Sure, it is popular, but until it unseats All I Want For Christmas as the ultimate holiday song, it is not popular enough. Because not only is it as good as All I Want For Christmas — it’s better. There, I said it. Underneath the Tree deserves the number one spot for Christmas more than Billy Mack and his sad manager did in Love, Actually.

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The only other recent Christmas song that comes close to being as good as Underneath the Tree is Santa, Can’t You Hear Me – which, not coincidentally, is also by Kelly Clarkson, this time with an assist from Ariana Grande. It says something about the power of Underneath the Tree that the combined powers of not one but two Carey heirs still can’t knock it from its place in the line of succession. But it also says something that Clarkson is involved – it’s just another point in favour of the fact she should, in fact, be the new queen of Christmas. Everyone clamours for Clarkson to cover their fave pop songs in Kellyoke; meanwhile, she’s already gifted us with two Christmas albums full of not just new bangers like those I’ve mentioned, but also her own takes on classic carols that rival the originals.

So if, like me, all you want for Christmas is a break from All I Want For Christmas is You, perhaps think about giving Underneath the Tree some time to shine. Put it on, and raise your voice loud– just be sure to turn the music up even louder because Kelly Clarkson’s range is as hard to match as Mariah Carey’s.

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