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There were many ways Alan Joyce, as Qantas chief executive, earned the ire of the travelling public during his controversial tenure, not least when he sought to explain the long queues at airports in the post-pandemic times of 2022.
It wasn’t the fault of the airlines or the airports, Joyce concluded. It was the fault of the passengers, who clearly weren’t “match fit”.
“People forget to take out their laptops,” he said, “they have to take out their aerosols … so that is taking longer to get through the queue.”
It was an unpopular stance, given his airline’s treatment of its passengers during the preceding pandemic shutdowns.
Still, it also had a ring of truth because there’s no doubt that issues are caused at airports and in the air by passengers who either don’t know what they’re doing, or would prefer to just ignore the established norms that help us all survive the air-travel experience.
Get ready for the security scanners. Don’t crowd the baggage carousel. Use headphones while you’re watching something on your phone. Don’t recline your seat when everyone else is trying to eat a meal.
These practices might seem obvious to some people, simple ways to ensure both you and everyone around you has the most enjoyable experience possible, but that isn’t always so.
For everyone else, we’ve put together this handy guide, the 25 dumb things passengers do. Avoid them to make air travel for you and your fellow passengers as painless as it can be.
AT THE AIRPORT
Turning up too early
Airports and airlines like to get you in the door very early these days. Many will recommend three hours before take-off for international travel. But is that really necessary?
Or are you being set up for multiple hours of wandering around shops buying things you don’t really need?
Our advice is to go for the middle ground. You don’t want to be late, you don’t want to be pushing through a queue of people who did the right thing getting there on time just because your flight is about to close.
But you also don’t want to have to spend any extra time hanging around an airport than is strictly necessary. Two hours before an international flight, in most airports, is plenty.
Dressing inappropriately
Gentlemen: a singlet is not appropriate clothing for a flight. Someone has to sit next to you, and there’s every chance those bare shoulders of yours are pretty broad, meaning that someone will be stuck rubbing up against them for several hours. Gross.
Always wear some sort of footwear (can’t believe we even have to say that one). Aside from that, however, go with clothes that are loose, comfortable, breathable and include something that can keep you warm if the temperature drops.
Not checking in online
If you’re flying either domestic or international, on many routes, with no bags to check, this is a no-brainer.
You get to skip a whole section of queuing (thus reducing wait times for those who can’t) and just sail straight over to security with your carry-on luggage.
Even if you are checking bags, this will quite often save you time and hassle at the airport, with one of the jobs done before you even line up.
Your only job is to ensure your check-in luggage is the right weight, so you don’t need to stand there at the counter for 15 minutes repacking your suitcase.
Checking in bags unnecessarily
This won’t suit every journey or even every person. However, if you can swing it, go carry-on only.
Not only will you save time and hassle on check-in, as mentioned above, but you will also bypass the baggage-handling process, ensuring you have your valuables with you at all times, and have no chance of anything being lost (unless you do it yourself).
This also means you will pack less, and your plane will burn less fuel. Every little bit counts.
Expecting an upgrade
There’s usually only one way to get an upgrade these days: pay for an upgrade.
Either with cash, or points.
But regardless, you will be paying, so there’s really no point standing there at the check-in counter trying to sweet-talk (or complain) your way into a seat at the pointy end. You’re just holding everyone else up.
Not getting ready for the scanners
Are you wearing a belt? Then you’ll need to take that off. A large metal watch? It will also have to come off. Is there a wallet in your back pocket? A phone somewhere on you? Have you worn 10-hole Doc Martens?
Then all those things will have to be removed to go through the security scanners. Don’t be the person who waits until you get right to the front of the queue before you realise this.
(Also, try to take note of the signs around you while you’re queueing because some airports and scanners will require you to remove laptops and liquids, and some won’t.)
Not knowing your airport (and its facilities)
Airports, generally, are terrible at letting you know what they have to offer and where to find them.
This isn’t like a shopping mall, where touchscreens will help you locate the shop or facility you need and tell you how to get there (though it should be).
So you’ll have to work for this. You may need to go to an information desk. Or look for a map posted somewhere.
But it’s always worth doing a little research and knowing what’s around – there could be public showers, paid-entry lounges, observation decks, TV viewing areas, food courts and more.
Not using headphones
Trust me, no one in the airport wants to hear the YouTube video you’ve just decided to watch, or the Instagram Reels you’re scrolling through, or what your kids back home have to say, or the people on that podcast you’re listening to. Use headphones. Every time.
Blocking the travelator
Travelators in terminals have been designed to get you from one point in the airport to another as quickly and efficiently as possible.
They do neither of those things when people insist on riding them two abreast, while stationary and surrounded by all their luggage. Either walk, or ensure you’re allowing people who are walking plenty of room to get past.
Taking your shoes off
At least wait until you get on board the plane. The departures area is not your lounge, and no one wants to look at, or – more likely – smell your dirty socks.
Taking up more than one seat
There are limited seats available in airport departure lounges. Very limited, in some cases. So it’s really not OK to stretch out across four of them, or even to block the seat next to you with all your wheelie luggage, when you know there are people around looking for somewhere to rest.
This is basic courtesy, and you will know when you’re in one of those rare situations when it’s OK to stretch.
Assuming duty-free is a bargain
There’s duty-free, and there’s duty-free. Yes, there are some bargains out there around the world, and smart shoppers will figure out what to buy and in which airport, to ensure they get the best price.
But it’s folly to just wander into a duty-free shop and assume everything there is cheaper than it is at home. It’s often not.
Consider exchange rates, and know the standard cost of what it is you want to buy. You might find that duty-free doesn’t make as much sense as it should.
Queuing too early
You can see it happen, and you want to wave them off. Stop, stop. Sit down. Because as soon as one person gets up to queue at the boarding gate far too early, 15 minutes or more before they’ll actually be allowed to board, other people will too. And then other people will notice, and they’ll queue too.
Before long there’s a huge line. You might decide, well, I’m not doing that. But this is a packed domestic flight, and you’re hoping to fit something in the overhead locker, so you can’t afford to be last on the plane. And so there you all stand, every passenger on the flight, in a big, long queue going nowhere.
Not being prepared to give up your water
You know the drill: you’ve been through security, you’ve had your liquids and aerosols checked, you’re into the “air side” of the airport, and you’re ready to fly home to Australia.
So you buy a bottle of water. And then you go to board your flight and remember that Australia is the only country in the world that subjects incoming passengers at certain airports to an extra level of security, meaning another full bag check, and the loss of any large liquids you might have purchased in the airport. Be prepared.
Crowding the carousel
Everyone, be like Japan.
I don’t say this about everything, but in the case of your behaviour around the baggage carousel, be like Japan.
Because in that country arriving passengers don’t all race to the edge of the carousel and block everyone else’s access.
They wait about a metre away, allowing everyone to see their baggage, and everyone to simply move forward and collect it when it arrives. Ahhhh.
IN THE AIR
Reclining on domestic flights (or during meals)
If you have a medical condition, and you’re truly in pain in an upright position, you can safely ignore this. For everyone else: yes, the seats recline, and you’re allowed to recline them. But on a domestic flight under two hours, you really shouldn’t need to. And you definitely shouldn’t while everyone else is trying to eat their meals.
Not obeying the carry-on rules
Don’t be that person bumping down the aisle with roller luggage, extra bags piled on top, shopping bags slung each side, desperately looking for somewhere to stuff it all. Everyone knows the rules on carry-on luggage, and those who break them do a disservice to everyone else on board.
Personally, I’m not a slavish adherent to weight restrictions because the weight of my one bag doesn’t inconvenience anyone else on board. But huge numbers of bags (or just huge bags) definitely do.
Not bringing your own headphones
Tip for first-time players: the headphones provided on board most planes are terrible. You will barely be able to hear your movie or TV show.
To really improve your flying experience, or at least to make it tolerable, take your own headphones. Preferably, noise-cancelling. And enjoy the entertainment.
Failing to plan your toilet breaks
There are certain times the onboard toilets are likely to be busiest: right after meals have been served, just before the lights are to be turned out and about an hour before landing.
Unless you fancy spending 15 minutes standing in a queue – which, you could at least say, is 15 minutes standing up – try to make strategic visits at other times.
Not bringing your own luxuries
Up in business class, they usually give you a handy bag filled with moisturiser, toothpaste and toothbrush, sleep mask, socks, earplugs and more.
Sometimes you even get branded pyjamas. But there’s no need to be jealous of the people up front – just BYO.
All the above-mentioned items are easy to source and carry with you in economy, and will drastically improve your flying experience.
Not staying hydrated
Experts all agree: one of the keys to successful long-haul air travel is staying hydrated. So keep the water coming and go easy on the alcohol.
Try to stand up and move around the cabin at regular intervals too, and do small foot and leg exercises to reduce the chance to deep-vein thrombosis.
Grab the chair back to get up
You wouldn’t kick the back of someone’s seat on purpose, right? That would be annoying.
And yet, you frequently see people grab the chair in front of them and use it to haul themselves up or down when getting in and out of their seats.
Trust me, as the person in that seat, you feel like you’ve just hit violent turbulence.
Taking your socks off
There’s some debate to be had here – some people consider it an offence onboard to even take your shoes off. But on long-haul flights, your feet swell, plus you’re trying to sleep, so I think it’s reasonable to slip those sneakers off. Just, keep your socks on.
Forgetting snacks for kids
If you’re travelling with young children, the success of your flight, and the flight of all those in a 10-seat radius, depends on those kids staying happy. There are various ways to do that: bring along your own entertainment, for example; and also, pack snacks.
There are often long periods on flights where no food or drink is served, and your kids are going to get hungry. A large bag of snacks should do the trick.
Standing up immediately on landing
You can tell a lot about a country by what happens once the plane’s wheels hit the ground. In some places, everyone will stay perfectly still until the seatbelt sign is extinguished.
In others, chaos reigns the second rubber hits the tarmac, with everyone battling to get their luggage down while the plane is still moving down the runway. People, people. Relax. Don’t stand up until you’re allowed to.
I confess: Five times I’ve been an idiot in the air
Missed flights It was definitely my fault in Melbourne. This was back in the day before smartphones, and I hadn’t even thought to consult a map to see where Melbourne Airport was. And so there I was in St Kilda, an hour before take-off, when I realised I had cut things far too fine. I missed a flight in Nova Scotia, Canada, too – the first of three flights to get home – which was far more consequential, and also, fortunately, someone else’s fault.
Booked tight connections I have learned the hard way that just because an airline will allow you to book a certain connection, doesn’t mean you have time to make that connection. Lufthansa is a bad one for this – I’ve barely scraped through on multiple tight connections through Frankfurt and Munich, though on all occasions my luggage did not. I also missed a flight at LAX after putting far too much faith in the efficiency of the US air system.
Stuffed toiletries far away I usually take care not to be that guy in the security line, the one who finally gets to the front of the queue and realises he now has to take off his belt and pull out his laptop and all those other time-consuming things. But I have, occasionally, forgotten that my toiletries are buried deep within a carry-on case, and had to spend several minutes digging around for them. Sorry, everyone.
Queuing with the mob I admit it: if someone starts a queue at the boarding gate long before anyone can actually board, I will join it. Every time. I want to use the overhead lockers. I don’t want to end up storing my things 10 rows back. You’re really left with no option.
Spending up at duty-free It took quite a while for the penny to drop. I used to blindly buy electronics and chocolates and nice bottles of whisky, safe in the knowledge that I was getting the best price because it was duty-free. But, it’s not the best price. I paid more than $20 recently for a small bar of chocolate in Dubai. It’s a total rip-off.
Agree? Disagree? Share your own air travel tips and advice at [email protected] We’ll publish a selection of the most interesting and useful responses, or post a comment below.
