3 weeks ago
7
February 4, 2026 — 9:00pm
John Byrne of Port Macquarie notes: “Recently a Herald letter writer wrote ‘Donald Trump mixing up the names of Greenland and Iceland in a recent speech to world leaders, I really hope the United States never plans to take military action against Austria.’ It is not as silly as it sounds. When I mentioned this ‘joke’ to my very well-travelled American friend, I was informed that at Vienna airport there’s a counter for American tourists who have accidently purchased a ticket to Austria instead of Australia.”
“The disastrous snowy hydro scheme is already seven years behind schedule with a budget that has blown from $2 billion to possibly $20 billion,” reports Chris Commens of Rosebery. “A fourth tunnel boring machine has been recruited. It was disappointing this huge boring machine wasn’t called ‘Melbourne’. But even the Victorians couldn’t mismanage this badly. Have Column 8 readers any suggested names?”
“My granddaughter turned seven this week,” writes Geoff Blake of Gymea. “Apparently not happy with the family’s rendition of Happy Birthday, she asked Google to sing it for her. What an insult!”
“Fabulous idea, Ian Carmody (C8),” enthuses Rob Phillips of North Epping. “Let’s start a groundswell movement where we deluge the needy orange brat in the White House with our ‘treasured’ trophies (C8). I am now searching for my Most Improved Player award from the 1964 U-13 Addison Royals Rugby League Team to package up and send to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington DC 20500.”
Noted TACO fancier Barry Wooldridge of Harden says that “the trophy I would willingly send to Donald Trump consists of a proud chicken perched on a pedestal. It was awarded to me in 1983 by the Harden Basketball Association for committing the most fouls in the season. Couldn’t be more appropriate.”
“Spotted in Launceston, Tasmania, last year and now appearing in Darlinghurst, a $2 surcharge for scrambling (rather than poaching or frying) your eggs,” reveals James Dunbar of Darlinghurst. “The added cost seems to be related to ‘folded’ eggs which are halfway to an omelette. What next? A toasting tax for browning your bread?”
Lynette Elsegood of Mosman “rang Northern Beaches Council to ask about the cost of removing excess green waste, as I knew some councils provided this service. I was told they didn’t do that. When I asked for suggestions about the removal, the answer was ‘haven’t you got a mate with a ute?’”
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