Reece, Ricky, Madge, and buses ... And they say nothing fun happens in Canberra

2 hours ago 3

The wheels on the bus go round and round, all through the town. Michael Maguire drove it in on Sunday, through Canberra and right on past the gates of GIO Stadium.

Reece Walsh might as well have hopped behind the wheel for the return trip 27 minutes before full-time, given what happened in the subsequent 10 minutes.

When you headbutt Hudson Young and flip the bird at the home fans, you deserve to sit in the bus bin and watch as Kaeo Weekes runs 100 metres and scores, and greet Pat Carrigan as he climbs aboard the bus bin too, and maybe even curse Ethan Strange as he looked to have killed the game for an 11-man Broncos outfit.

But then Walsh is back on the field, and Reece Lightning becomes Reece Frightening. His next 10 minutes might be the best of his career. He inspires three tries in six minutes and 28-12 with 14 minutes to go, turns into 28-26 with five to go. And they say nothing fun ever happens in Canberra.

The blockbuster was supposed to happen next Sunday between Canterbury and Penrith at Accor Stadium. The brawl was supposed to have happened on Saturday night when the Sharks beat the Roosters and fans rumbled among themselves. The Panthers are supposed to be the story, heading towards yet another grand final fairytale after sneaking into the eight.

But Madge knows the fairytale is happening right in front of him. His eyebrows do a little dance. Then Walsh makes the crossbar do a little wiggle, and the creases on his forehead fold the other way. The Raiders hold out and win the game.

They throw up their arms in victory, then throw up their arms in disbelief as Walsh’s smothered left leg earns a penalty and then kicks the penalty and sends this far-fetched, feral and genuinely first-class excuse for a match to extra-time. And golden point. And when Ben Hunt finally kicks the field goal to end this mad afternoon qualifying final, it is dark and the sea of green in the stands has turned a dull, sort of sad colour.

Like the facial expression of Ricky Stuart, which screams trying to think happy thoughts about 1995, when he was a player, and the Raiders beat the Broncos the last time these two teams met in an NRL finals series. This was a chance to repeat the good times and earn a week’s rest before making more magic. But there has been no rest for the wicked, and Stuart has been fighting this fight all week, well before his minor premiers actually got anywhere near the field.

Back when Josh Papalii left the training field with an ankle injury, Maguire suggested Stuart was “up to his tricks again”. The accusations of mind games escalated into Rat-gate, amid reports that a Raiders informant (the alleged rat) had been feeding the Broncos inside information about Papalii’s fitness status.

Stuart told Maguire to speak to the hand by telling the media: “I’m too busy coaching a footy team instead of making it about me.”

But in not being about him, it also was about him because it was about his former club assistant, turned rival, who was cracking jokes about mind games. It was a year after Stuart fumed when Maguire, as NSW Blues coach, dropped Young from his State of Origin squad. Too soon?

Then, of course, there was Bus-gate. Maguire had reportedly been unhappy after Brisbane’s round-two trip to Canberra because the team bus was forced to park outside the front gates of GIO Stadium and walk 70 or so metres to the dressing rooms. The Broncos lost that game.

Chief executive Dave Donaghy apparently even phoned the NRL to express concern about a repeat. Maguire denied the whole thing. “I don’t give a rats,” he said this week. “Maybe I should jump in the driver’s seat and drive our bus to the game this week. I don’t know what they are whingeing about to be honest.”

These two coaches have spent the week gaslighting each other so hard you barely believed your own eyes when Brisbane’s bus rolled right through the front gates and pulled up inside the ground.

Stuart cut a casual figure pre-match, stating he did not need to motivate the boys or keep distractions out because “they don’t fall into that fake type of motivation.” Papalii had been given until game day and passed the test.

Maguire then conducted his interview and acted as if he knew Papalii would get up all along. “I always expected him to play, the big fella,” he said. “I know Big Papa.” Then he got into some pleasant weather chat. Canberra had turned it on for the occasion. What will they come up with next?

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