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Reality TV has always been unhinged, but at the turn of the century it was truly bonkers. Many attribute this to the success of shows such as Survivor and Big Brother. Their popularity with audiences worldwide made TV executives hungry for the next hit.
That’s how we ended up with Ian Thorpe on our screens overseeing three “angels” performing public acts of kindness. Or a woman masturbating a pig on camera in Britain. “The trick to getting a new show commissioned was always having a twist,” Remy Blumenfeld, the producer behind Gay, Straight or Taken? and There’s Something About Miriam told the BBC in 2023. In these early years, there were seemingly no limits to the gimmicky twists, and very little concern for psychological safety.
From the deeply unethical to the inoffensive, here are some of the weirdest reality TV programs of the era.
Embarrassing Bodies (2007-2014)
A mild-mannered British man walks into a makeshift doctor’s office. His complaint? An “itchy bottom” that’s lasted 20 years. There’s scene after scene of the man walking down the street or sitting at his desk, trapped in an interminable scratching loop, unable to keep his hands away from his rear. The TV doctor declares he’s trapped in an “itch-scratch cycle”.
The formula for Embarrassing Bodies is simple: medical malady followed by swift diagnosis, then treatment ranging from ointment to surgery — all filmed in grotesque detail. Audiences lapped it up. Millions of people tuned in. It even won two BAFTAs for its digital resources.
My friend introduced me to this show over summer, and I spent most of the available seven seasons on 10Play with my hands over my eyes. It’s not for the squeamish. Embarrassing Bodies was one of many reality programs of its time that prioritised the shock factor over body positivity. At least participants got fast-tracked advice.
An Australian version, Embarrassing Bodies Down Under, was launched on the Lifestyle You channel in 2013, before being picked up by Nine*. Fungus-covered toes, an “angry” penis and mismatched breasts all featured.
Could it be remade today? If the 2022 reboot is anything to go by, this format is best laid to rest. Like the itch-scratch cycle.
Who Dares Wins (1996-1998)
The show that asked: “Hey, would you scull a raw emu egg for $50?” – and Australians answered: “Yes.”
Before Survivor challenges, Who Dares Wins took things to the extreme. Host Mike Whitney, with his characteristic charm, would cajole the everyday citizen into doing the most whackadoo things.
Some of the most memorable dares were also the wildest, such as jumping off a three-storey landing onto a mattress in the middle of a shopping centre for $500. Then there were the lower stakes dares: shaving one’s head, or swallowing some kind of critter.
While only on air for three seasons, Who Dares Wins had a dedicated following. As far as shows in this genre go, it was fairly harmless. Not for the contestants who fell, of course.
It’s worth a revisit just for the nostalgic portrait of hairstyles and shopping malls in Sydney in the late ’90s.
Could it be remade today? Yes, but it probably would never fly with contemporary TV production standards for concerns for personal welfare (boring).
Shattered (2004)
Ten young people try to stay awake for as long as possible. No, it’s not the worst bachelor party you’ve ever been to. It’s the 2004 British program Shattered. To try and thwart participants, there were challenges: listening to a shipping forecast, or a bedtime story from a “granny”. If any contestants fell asleep at any point, the prize pool (a grand £100,000) would diminish. The winner eventually took home £97,000 after staying awake for 178 hours.
Unfortunately, most of the viewers fell asleep, too. As it turns out, watching people staying awake isn’t all that thrilling (surprise).
Could it be remade today? I’d rather watch paint dry (incidentally, another challenge on the program). For ethical reasons, watching people being tortured on TV won’t find its home in a reboot.
There’s Something About Miriam (2004)
A show that takes the idea of the reality TV “twist” to its most sinister conclusion, There’s Something About Miriam was a program that ended in more tears than triumph.
Six men woo 21-year-old model Miriam Rivera in an idyllic setting in Spain. There’s a cash prize (of course) and a holiday together for the winner. Fairly standard, right? The “twist” in this case comes at the expense of Miriam. The final episode hinges on the winner (and other contestants) discovering she is transgender.
At the time it aired, many of the show’s critics focused on the exploitation of contestants, not Miriam. The six men on the show took the production company to court, leading to an out-of-court settlement.
Could it be remade today? It’s safe to say there is no world in which this program would make it past development in 2026, and for good reason. Every moment is drenched in cringe on rewatch — from the giggles of contestants as Miriam is addressing the group, to earlier “suspicions” about her identity.
Playing It Straight (2004)
In Playing It Straight, the US program’s central contestant Jackie has to guess which of her 14 suitors is, you guessed it, gay. What ensues is mind games, tension and totally normal questions on dates such as, “What are your effeminate qualities?”
Another program that hinges on a Big Twist, the show was largely panned by critics and cancelled after its third episode thanks to low ratings. It was also adapted for Australian TV, where it fared a little better, making it through one season on Seven before it was cancelled.
As I sat through every episode of the US version on YouTube, I found myself oddly compelled by the cast. Who are these gay men, who put themselves at risk of criticism for a million dollars? Why are these men in hot tubs together? Who is this for?
Could it be remade today? Unless you enjoy screaming at your screen, this one’s not for you (or the modern general public). See also: Gay, Straight or Taken? and Boy Meets Boy.
Ladette to Lady (2005-2008) and The Swan (2004)
Another key trope in this era was the “transformation”. Setting aside home transformations (who can forget Changing Rooms?), personal transformations were in particular vogue.
Enter shows such as Ladette to Lady and The Swan. In Ladette to Lady, British women are sent to finishing school, whereas in The Swan, they’re sent to the surgeon’s office. I surprisingly enjoyed rewatching Ladette to Lady, not because of its archaic standards for women but for the cast — the outspoken “ladettes” and their worried parents (“We don’t know ’alf of what she gets up to”). The Swan, by contrast, is deeply uncomfortable viewing, particularly the final post-plastic surgery “reveal” in front of loved ones.
Could these shows be remade today? I would love to see a reboot of the Australian version of Ladette to Lady that aired in 2009 with “eight of the worst examples of their kind” sent to the same British finishing school. Game on, moles.
*Nine is the publisher of this masthead.
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