Our reviewer gave it one star. But All’s Fair is five-star fashion TV

3 months ago 7

The Vivienne Westwood ballgown-sized void left by the permanent departure of Sex and the City and And Just Like That… characters Carrie, Charlotte and Samantha from our television screens has finally been filled (Miranda’s wardrobe was a hit-and-miss affair).

While Lily Collins as the lead character in Emily In Paris came close to becoming Carrie 2.0 with her clown-like costumes and annoying traits, it has taken the combined efforts of Naomi Watts, Kim Kardashian, Glenn Close, Niecy Nash, Teyana Taylor and Sarah Paulson to bring fashion fantasy back to television in All’s Fair.

TV writer Craig Mathieson gave the series a one-star review, focusing on Kardashian’s “monotonal and emotionally negligent attempts at acting” but what about the drama delivered by the reality star’s thong underwear, visible in a vintage Jean Paul Gaultier skirt suit? Then there’s Paulson’s Dior suits and Watts’ leopard print Valentino coat?

Kim Kardashian wearing a vintage Jean Paul Gaultier trench coat (left) and Naomi Watts wearing a Carolina Herrera cape in All’s Fair

Producer Ryan Murphy, of American Horror Story and Glee fame, knows that viewers aren’t waiting for Kardashian to deliver a searing monologue like Sam Rockwell in the most recent season of The White Lotus. Instead, Murphy is playing to Kardashian’s strengths as a brunette Barbie with a boundary-pushing wardrobe.

This is fashion award-winning television, for people unwilling to decipher the plot of Severance until the characters change out of their soulless corporate attire. If you’re approaching the series with a critical lens, change the channel and watch Succession re-runs. If your lenses are in Chanel glasses, grab the popcorn.

These are the Emmy categories that need to be introduced to acknowledge the greatest couture clickbait since Carrie’s floral chiffon Richard Tyler dress that ended up in the Central Park lake in a season three episode of Sex and the City.

Best ensemble performance by gloves

The monopoly of Jane Austen adaptations on pushing glove trends has been overtaken by the high-powered lawyers in All’s Fair, who spend more time covering their hands than reading case briefs.

Costume designer Paula Bradley’s glove obsession is almost enough to distract from dialogue that could be borrowed from the darker corners of gay dating app Grindr. There’s the burgundy driving gloves worn by Kardashian’s character Allura Grant, which are then traded for black opera gloves in a scene involving a Valentino strapless gown and baseball glove.

Paulson’s range of leather gloves make it clear that her character Carrington Lane is the villain. Clocking her glove wardrobe is almost as difficult as counting the number of fireplaces and glasses of champagne in every scene.

Most powerful pussy-bow

Almost Oscar-winner Glenn Close joins in the fashion fun as Dina Standish, without showing her thongs. Instead, the 78-year-old is bedecked in power suits, like the Dolce & Gabbana blue floral Jacquard blazer with a white pussy blow blouse.

Murphy deserves credit for including more mature actresses, such as Close, in the fashion frivolity. Former Who’s The Boss star Judith Light, 76, has the longest black gloves of all, worn at the jewellery auction her character Sheila Baskin holds for financial security after leaving her neglectful husband.

The pussy-bow award goes to Paulson, in a scene where the size of her neck detail deserves a wide load sign. Of course, it’s worn with lace gloves.

‘Where does the money come from’ award

While many junior associate lawyers contend with Scanlan Theodore sale items and Trenery suits, Murphy and Bradley aren’t interested in raiding the lower floors of a Westfield shopping centre.

Teyana Taylor as aspiring lawyer Milan (Paris was taken), has an enviable wardrobe of Rick Owens cut-out tops and matching tracksuits.

Not since freelance columnist Carrie Bradshaw in SATC managed to afford a shoe collection rivalling the 3000 pairs owned by former first lady of the Philippines Imelda Marcos has fashion maths failed to add up.

Hats on award

Every day is Melbourne Cup day for Niecy Nash’s character Emerald Greene. Greene precariously balances an array of outfits with plunging necklines from black designers LaQuan Smith, Charles Harbison and Sergio Hudson, with an array of hats.

Naomi Watts and Niecy Nash with wardrobe items from All’s Fair at the London premiere of the series on October 22.

Nash has been passed the turban torch from Joan Collins’ Dynasty character Alexis Carrington, who favoured the headpieces when she wasn’t indulging in cat fights.

The award goes to...

Yes, All’s Fair is trash television but if you’re clutching your Paspaley pearls at Kardashian’s character exposing her underwear in the office of a legal firm, you’re missing the point.

The plot is lighter than an Ozempic addict but the spirit of campy fun and aesthetic indulgence is captivating.

In these challenging times, post-apocalyptic series like Pluribus and The Last of Us can feel too close to home. I’ll take my weekly dose of denial with a hefty serve of Chanel handbags, gloves and fireplaces instead.

All’s Fair is now streaming on Disney+.

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