‘My father cheated on Mum’: Adam Courtenay on his famous dad

3 months ago 32

By Robyn Doreian

August 3, 2025 — 5.00am

Writer Adam Courtenay has written several books on Australian history, but his latest work, on his late father, the author Bryce Courtenay, is bound to attract attention. Here, the 61-year-old talks about the influential women in his life, and the complicated relationship he had with his dad.

“My father’s illegitimacy left an enormous scar – he found it shameful and didn’t tell me until I was 30.”

My paternal grandmother, “Paddy”, was born in South Africa in 1905. She was this tiny figure who was extremely religious. For her, the Lord was the way, the only way.

Paddy was a dressmaker. She fell in love with Arthur Ryder, who worked at the same clothing store. He said he had two grown children who’d left home and was going to divorce his wife. They lived together and Paddy had my aunt, Rosemary, and my father, Bryce [Courtenay, the author] out of wedlock.

Paddy discovered Arthur had a loving wife and six children at home to whom he later returned. In those days, Paddy’s unmarried status was tantamount to being a witch, so she moved frequently with her two children to reinvent herself.

My father’s illegitimacy left an enormous scar – he found it shameful and didn’t tell me until I was 30. I didn’t care; rather, I would have liked to have known what his origins were.

My mother, Benita, was highly literate – she read three books a week. She loved art, music, black American jazz and French films. She was a progressive thinker and pro-civil rights. She loved Europe and in 1986 opened a shop in Edgecliff [Sydney] that sold imported French cookware. She had a huge influence on me in terms of culture.

The late Bryce Courtenay, who died in 2012, was a celebrated author, with a complicated personal life.

My father cheated on Mum with his secretary, Celia. She was 15 years younger than Dad. I felt guilty, as I came to like Celia enormously. I was 15, from a boys’ school, and very scared of women. Celia talked about sex and relationships and became a female mentor to me. She tried to instil confidence, and I was enormously grateful for that.

My mother knew about my father’s numerous relationships but internalised her hurt. She wasn’t shocked by the fact he was with someone else, but she was shocked when he finally left her.

My parents divorced in 1999. They’d been married for 39 years. I was living in London at the time and after the divorce, Mum bought a flat in Belgravia, where she based herself for up to six months of each year. I’d grown closer to Mum after my brother Damon, who had haemophilia, died in 1991 from medically acquired HIV-AIDS.

When I moved back to Sydney in 2003, Mum was living in Bellevue Hill. She’d been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, so I bought a flat nearby. She was later diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia and died in 2007. She was a one-off – my smart and beautiful mum.

I was an anxious teenager and very unsure of myself. My first celebrity crush was Kate Bush. When I saw the video for Wuthering Heights, I’d never seen anything so wild, brilliant and carefree.

My first significant relationship happened when I was 20. I was in Paris busking on the streets and I met this Brazilian girl in a hotel. She was extremely funny – I have always been attracted to women who can make you laugh in the gut. She was affectionate, easygoing and didn’t give a damn about anything. Our relationship lasted three months, as she needed to travel the world.

I met Ada while living in London. She was Italian and beautiful and an archaeologist. In 1998, I travelled to Italy with her. She took me to archeological digs and would explain history in the layers upon which something was built. She moved to London but hated it. We got along well, but it just fizzled out.

When I returned to Sydney, I was at a bit of a crossroads. I found a job as a sub-editor at The Australian Financial Review and worked my way up. I met my wife, Gina, through a distant friend. There was just a perfect synchronicity between us. There were never misunderstandings. There was comfortableness with Gina I’d never had with any other woman.

The lesson I took from my parents’ marriage into my own is honesty, truth and faithfulness. Be upfront and honest about everything. If you feel a certain way, express it. It makes adapting and changing in marriage much easier if you know exactly what the other person is thinking.

Adam Courtenay will be in-conversation in Geelong on August 5, and Melbourne on August 6. My Father Bryce (Hachette Australia) is out now.

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