2 hours ago
1
Have you noticed all the blokes crying on screen lately? Or just talking about their feelings. Being, you know, nice. From Benedict in Bridgerton, to the lads of Heated Rivalry and even the fellas in I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here! and Australian Survivor, tears and big emotions have been on proud display.
The thing is, not many people talk about it. What does get talked about is the man on Married At First Sight who says he wants an “obedient” wife, or how other men on the same show rank their wives and discuss whether they are “hot” or not.
The nice guys are not at dinner parties or on horses, or punching other dudes. They don’t live on a ranch, and they don’t attempt to frame their biographer for murder. Instead, they are eating cheese as part of a boys’ supper club, they are making toasties or smoothies for their hot hockey boyfriends, or they are crying over photos of their newborn while trapped on a beach in Samoa. It’s the noisy ones, the controversial ones that get all the attention, but let’s not forget the good guys – fictional and real – who are rewriting the rules around male behaviour on TV, who are supporting women and providing a good example (old-fashioned, I know) about what it means to be a man.
Bridgerton (Netflix)
Benedict Bridgerton (Luke Thompson) has long been the MVP of Netflix’s Regency-era bonkbuster, swinging between men and women, refusing to be constrained by society’s ideas of how a man should behave.
He is a source of confidence to his sister Eloise and now, in finding love with Sophie Baek (Yerin Ha, beautifully going toe-to-toe with Thompson) he is looking past her position as a maid, and vowing to love her for who she is (we can all agree to forget the “Will you be my mistress?” misstep in episode four, OK). He has also been open enough to share his bisexuality with Sophie, and she, in return, essentially shrugged and moved on.
He’s not the only Bridgerton bloke showing his softer side, either. The Featherington sisters’ husbands – Colin, Harry and Albion – enjoy supper clubs together, where they discuss cheeses from France. It’s dudes being dudes, gentlemen being gentlemen. Even Colin, who I normally despise, has come good in season four, supporting his wife Penelope (Nicola Coughlan) as she makes a living.
Sure, it’s all fiction and yes, it’s all a show that’s geared towards women, and that’s great. When other men are out there are asking for “obedient” wives, Benedict wants a woman with spunk. And in an era of hypermasculinity, the acceptance of his bisexuality – by both male and female characters – is revolutionary. Let’s just say it’s a happy ending we can all agree on.
Heated Rivalry (HBO Max)
There has already been lots of chat about the hot, hot, hot gay ice hockey drama and how it has captivated a largely straight female audience. They came for the pert bottoms and stayed for the genuine exchange of emotion between Canada’s Shane Hollander (Hudson Williams) and his Russian rival Ilya Rozanov (Connor Storrie). Consent was a thing! Mutual pleasure was a thing! They cooked for each other. I’m pretty sure one of them even washed the dishes.
Again, I realise the show is fiction, but it modelled behaviour that is considerate, kind, open and loving. It wasn’t just Shane and Ilya – a special high five goes to Kip’s dad, who was a big old softie and a role model for positive parenting. He did not reject his son because he was a gay, he loved him. And it was not a big deal. In age of toxic masculinity, hypermasculinity and any other “inity” you can think of, Heated Rivalry showed there wasn’t any one way to be a man and there was a way forward for all types of relationships.
Rooster (HBO Max)
It’s not just hot boyfriends and supportive husbands, being a good dad is important, too. They have been a screen staple for years (think Family Ties, Modern Family, Packed to the Rafters, Bluey), and Steve Carrel is the latest to enter the chat. In the Rooster, his character Greg Russo is a steady support to his daughter Katie (Charly Clive) when her marriage falls apart.
It’s very much in the vein of Ted Lasso and Shrinking (all shows share writer, producer and nice guy Bill Lawrence in common) and Carrel’s Greg Russo is a rare example of a TV dad who’s actively engaged in his adult daughter’s life, mature enough to talk through her relationship or career issues (while working on his own), and dedicated enough to fight any man who wrongs her.
I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here! (Network 10)
Who knew a reality show that gets its kicks out making celebrities eat offal would be the biggest feel-good story of the year so far? (Admittedly, it’s only March, but I’m making the call right now.) And while Concetta Caristo was a deserving winner who put herself out there by sharing her story of domestic violence, a lot of the feel-good vibes came from the blokes, who sat in camp and cried while they openly talked about the kids, parents, depression, mental illness, loss and love.
Actor Gary Sweet, former AFL star Dyson Heppell and former rugby league player turned BookTokker Luke Bateman cried all the time. They hugged every day, they talked about gratitude and fair play.
It was beautiful to watch. My husband even yelled at the screen, “This is the kind of TV people should be paying attention to!” Back in the day, a couple of footballers crying on TV probably would have copped a slur or three, but Bateman, in particular, normalised talking about his feelings, and was open about his gambling addiction and struggles in rehab. That is not a small thing.
Australian Survivor (Network 10)
Stick with me here, because on a show that’s all about strategy and outmanoeuvring your teammates, Australian Survivor has shown that spending up to 45 days on a beach in Samoa will result in you missing your family. And that’s OK!
Simon Mee – happily labelled one of the worst players in the game – has cried several times this season, shedding tears over missing his toddler daughter and the difficulty of losing his Bounty teammate “Dirty” Harry Hills (who also cried when he was voted out). He also tries really, really hard, which is an underrated and unappreciated skill. Sure, he might not be great at Survivor (and, again, that’s OK!) but he’s putting his feelings out there in a TV format that rewards tough men who can stay the distance. Trying is cool. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.
Find out the next TV, streaming series and movies to add to your must-sees. Get The Watchlist delivered every Thursday.
