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Scorned with the nickname “Poogee” because of its long-running stormwater woes, it was recently ranked as the Sydney swim spot most polluted with faecal matter, according to the 2024-25 NSW State of the Beaches report.
This comes a year after mysterious black balls containing traces of human faeces, methamphetamine and nasty oils washed up on its sands in October 2024.
Workers in bright orange protective gear took to the beach – looking like the pink guards from Squid Game – to clean up the foul-smelling “poo balls”.
Squid games: Clean-up of mysterious black balls that washed up onto Coogee Beach in October 2024.Credit: Eryk Bagshaw
A recent report found them coming to Coogee from the deepwater ocean outfall attached to the Malabar wastewater treatment plant, in much the same way the old “Bondi cigars” used to pollute Sydney’s most famous beach in the 1970s and ’80s.
It’s not the first time poo has tarnished this seaside suburb’s reputation.
A real stink occurred back in 2008, when faecal remnants were allegedly found in some ice-cream served at a well-known beachfront establishment. There was a whiff of foul play when a sample of the free dessert was sent to the National Measurement Institute, which found it had “an offensive odour and physical properties similar to human excreta”.
Poo on the beach, in the ocean and even in the ice-cream. You’d think a place so besmirched by bad press would keep the crowds away.
Given Coogee’s name originates from the Indigenous word koojah, meaning “stinky place” in reference to the rotting seaweed that accumulates on the beach, you could argue locals, including the original Bidjigal people, have been trying to keep interlopers away for centuries.
Yet still they come. Bright pink-clad nippers by the hundreds on a Sunday morning, fair-skinned Irish backpackers in such large numbers that it’s called “County Coogee”.
But fellow beach lovers, please heed the warnings. Because if you did come for a dip – like I do most days – you’d be too busy worrying about the poo to enjoy the swim to the reef just offshore near the surf club, nicknamed the microwave after its 2020 remodel. You’d likely miss the delight of seeing the eagle rays glide along the ocean floor, or the glory of coming face to face with the big blue gropers or the schools of whiting darting at your feet.
In her element: Long-time Coogee resident Helen Pitt in the ocean pool. Credit: Louise Keneally
We wouldn’t want you to be beguiled by the beautiful black markings of the baby Port Jackson sharks at the south-end rocks. Or glimpse the sea turtle that hangs out at Wedding Cake Island in summer. Best not to commune with the little fairy penguin who washed up at Wylie’s Baths last year, not far from its resident octopus. You do not want to see the rusty old shark bell on the ocean floor of Coogee Bay, a vestige of the fun pier that once brought tramloads to Coogee from 1928, before it was washed away in 1934.
Best to skip the queues lining up to try Coogee’s new Rick Stein restaurant – leave that to the locals to sweat it out in the stifling summer heat. We’re only thinking of your welfare.
Coogee Beach.Credit: Kate Geraghty
As NSW Minister for Water Rose Jackson said earlier this year in relation to the stormwater issue: “People love Coogee but they’re rightly sick of the impacts of pollution when it rains. This is an overdue fix to a problem that’s been ignored for too long. We’re putting an end to this shitty situation once and for all, so everyone can enjoy one of the best beaches in the world.”
Really, Rose, it’s OK. Let us locals suffer in silence. Best stick to the known narrative: Poogee. The place stinks. Stay away.
Helen Pitt is an author and former Herald journalist.
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