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Welsh musician Cate Le Bon is known for her folk-pop songs and quirky lyrics. Here, the 43-year-old talks about her relationships and the men she has met through her career who have influenced her personal life, including Wilco’s Jeff Tweedy.
My dad, John, worked as a planning officer in our town and is a self-taught guitarist. Music has always played a huge role in our family outings. From Crowded House and Nirvana to Steely Dan – it was eclectic. Dad still sits in his living room playing guitar and singing to himself.
I’m the middle child of three girls. Mum [Catherine] met Dad at university and they courted for years, constantly getting together and breaking up. There’s a story about Dad climbing up the front of Mum’s house with his pockets full of sausages as a gift to win her back. They’ve been together since their 20s and are still in the house they moved into at 24.
I met my best friend, Delmi, when I was 11 at school in Cardiff [Wales]. We’re still friends. He lives around the corner and we talk every day. Every time I see him, my heart just goes “yay”, and takes me back to falling in love with each other as friends.
My first kiss was at 14 with a boy called Hedd, who I adored. Delmi had his first kiss on the same night, with a girl, Nia, he’d loved for years. Everyone in our school was snogging all the time, but Delmi and I hadn’t participated.
I had a celebrity crush on Pulp lead singer Jarvis Cocker and fell in love with him when he protested against the Michael Jackson performance at the 1996 Brits [music awards]. Pulp is also one of the first bands I saw live. Jarvis is so magnetic and comfortably strange.
I had a really inspiring secondary school teacher called Kerry Wynn Jones. I often think about what he wrote in my schoolbook: that I didn’t need to go straight to university, as long as I promised him I would continue to write. Even now, I feel I have to keep writing so I don’t disappoint him.
I had my first real boyfriend, Hugh, at the age of 20. It was a really sweet relationship. We were friends to begin with, but there was this kind of back and forth that got a bit messy. I remember being in a club in Cardiff and thinking, god, if I don’t do something I’m going lose this person that I really love. So, I reached for his hand and held it, and we were together for 12 years.
Hugh was instrumental in helping me with my music career. He wanted me to play shows. He also knew I was too shy to play solo, and took it into his own hands to book me a show. He printed the posters himself, and said, “Right, it’s on.”
Working with producer Samur Khouja has been rewarding. He’s witnessed that it’s harder for women, and you do come up against men who will punish you for objecting to their behaviour in the studio. Samur never interrupts, he’s brilliant at inspiring me by trying to show me how great I am, rather than using it as an opportunity to show me how great he is.
Wilco’s Jeff Tweedy is a prolific and intentional man who also has this beginner’s mind approach to everything. We have worked together since 2019. His loyalty and dedication to his family is really moving: he’s someone who has this life as a touring musician but is also a family guy.
I had some time out from dating after my last relationship [with former collaborator Tim Presley]. It taught me how much women give, and it’s not often reciprocated. Men leave a room and they leave everything in the room, and women leave a room and carry it with them.
I am really enjoying not being in a relationship because I get to appreciate the brilliant people in my life and have more time for friendships, family and myself. There’s no reward in being in a relationship that you’re unhappy in. Life is short. I’m very lucky that I have incredible friends and an incredible family, and I don’t feel this need to tick these boxes.
Cate Le Bon is touring Australia in May and June. Her new album, Michelangelo Dying, is out now.
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